Secrets ċ.ɖ

Difficult

Chapter 30:

"Jessica can we talk?" I heard an innocent voice. Right away I knew it was Shawn.

I check the time and it was 4 in the afternoon. And a lot of messages great. I guess a nap never hurt anyone. I got up from my bed and walked to my door opening it. I walked back to my bed laying down and hiding under the pillow.
Not wanting to have a talk with him. Or him look at me.

"Are you going to yell at me for having a phone? Are you going to yell at me for leaving many times?" I muffled in the pillow. "Cameron told me already i don't need a lecture from you too"

"No"

"Did he leave?" I muffled again.

"Yes" I sat up sitting crisscross facing him. "Awwwe Jess" he pulled me in a hug when he saw my crying face. "Let's talk" I nodded.

"Did Cameron hook up with anyone last night" I blurted. He looked at me and then nodded. I nodded that hurt my heart he didn't once think of me then.

"Shawn do you think its okay to cry over someone I'm not right for? someone who won't appreciate me?" I asked him tears lining up to fall down.

"No but I think you really love him"

"I do it sucks loving someone who isn't exactly like you or someone who might not love you back or even someone who's afraid to love back" I cried this time I went in for a hug I need this right now. I just let my cries fill in the room. Why. Why do i love him so frickin much?! Why him? Why not Max!

"I don't care I'm going to cry all I want on your shoulder" i snuggled into him. "You know what sucks falling for someone you know you are not good for?" I continued.

"Mhm" I heard him reply.

"You fall anyways because you actually think he can turn out different" I start crying again. I hate crying. It makes me feel so weak. "I fell for him and he showed something for a while but something happened and took that affection away. It took it away. Away from me. The love i thought was there is gone! FUCK!"

"Jessica I have to tell you something" ughhh i cant i won't but as soon as he started talking i didn't get anything out. "Cameron went back to his old habits" I looked at him weird. Of course i look like shit.

"What do you mean?"

"He went back to drinking and weed"

"Stop don't say that. Of. Course. its my fucking fault too Great!" I know what drinking and pot does to someone. I knew someone who did exactly those things. I just cried again. I hate my life right now. Why am i so damn emotional!

"Shawn I want to go home!" I demanded to him. I didn't care. I need to go home ill go insane if i don't.

"Jessica I can't- I can't take that risk!" He said getting up leaving me alone. "I'm sorry Jessica please its hard enough for me seeing you like this its hard enough for me to not let you go home" his voice cracked "I'm just sorry Jessica" he left my room not saying another word after that.

I groaned in frustration. I got up and started trashing my room of course I'm capable of doing that. I'm so angry with everyone I'm so done. Item after item piece after piece. I'm gonna have to clean up. But right now all i care about is breaking the walls.

°°°

Can you come over?

Him: miss me already.

Yes hurry up!

Him: on my way ;))

I cleaned my room after trashing it. Which took a while. I wish cleaning it as fast as trashing in the first place.

"Jessica?" I look at my door and see Shawn.

"Yeah?"

"Johnson, Sammy, Daniel, and Aaron are coming over" I just nodded.

"Is that everyone coming over?" I asked suspicious. He looked at me. He's hiding it I know it.

"No Cameron is too" I just nodded Great.

"I'll just bring Max over then I don't want to be by Cameron".

"Jessica don-"

"No Shawn please" he looked down and walked away. I feel bad. He doesnt want to be yelled at by cameron but i dont want to see cameron so whatever.

°°°

I heard the bell rang. Me being me thinking it was Max ran to the door.
With a big smile on face. The second I saw his face my smile went to a frown. It was Max. But he looked different.

"What happened?" I said to him pulling him into a hug. He hugged me back.

"What do you mean?" I heard him sniffle.

"I mean you're crying. are you okay Max?" I asked him.

"Yeah I'm fine" he said trying to put a smile on his face but it didn't work. I knew him too well. He cried as soon as he saw my face. I let him cry on my shoulder. I wonder what's wrong with him. "Im sorry" i heard him whisper.

"C'mon let's go to my room we can talk about it..?" I questioned he just nodded.

"Okay let's go" we walked up to my room. I held his hand the entire time going up.

"You wanna talk?" I asked him as we sat on my bed.

"Is it okay if we don't?" He said a little more better.

"Yeah when ever you're ready I guess"I smiled at him. "What should we watch?"

"What ever you want" he smiled at me. I played a movie. As we were watching the movie I felt eyes being burned into my skin. I looked at him he smiled at me. We were really close like really close. Face to face close.

"Max i-i-"

"I think I like you"

"I think I like you" we said at the exact same time. When he said that I smiled and I saw his smile too. Wow mutual feelings for once.

Before we both knew it we were leaning in and our lips melted together.

This felt right. But i knew it wasn't. I know he will be my rebound.

CAMERON'S POV

New gang in town great. They say they're with us but who knows. We need a meeting and since most of us are going to Shawn's place might as well bring all of them. All I know is that Jess is there and i can talk to her without that max kid.

°°°

"Okay guys we need to have a meeting to keep all of us safe"

"What are you talking about?" Shawn asked.

"New gang. I heard them saying our gang name and said that they are with us but let's be clear. No gang has ever been with us. I find it suspicious" I said with my voice strong. " we need to keep everyone safe especially Jessica they can take her from right under our finger tips. We can't let her get captured like what happened before. That resulted into us moving here. Shawn is she home?"

"Yeah I'll get her"

"Jess!" He yelled.

"What!"

"Come down here!" He yelled back.

We heard steps coming down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" She asked so calm and beautifully. I saw another figure and noticed they were holding hands.

The guy looked at me and we both had the same expression. Anger.

"Get him!" I yelled. the guys stood up and before we knew it he was pinned on the ground by me and Johnson held Jessica back.

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