Blood Must Have Blood (Clexa Fanfic)

Laughter Lines

Lexa felt like her heart had shifted in her chest and suddenly all of her old wounds had reopened. Everything about her ex-lover was brought to the forefront of her mind. It made her feel repulsed, like being this close to Clarke was some sort of betrayal to Costia. She tried to shift away from Clarke and sit up which was met with a look of confusion from the other girl who sat up beside her.

"I'm sorry. Is it too personal?" She asked with genuine worry in her voice but Lexa just shook her head, blinking several times and Clarke could've sworn she saw a tear.

"No. No, it's fine." Lexa said, waving her hand to Clarke before she sat up properly, stretching out her arms. The Commander could feel herself shaking and she bit softly on her lower lip as she leaned over, resting her arms on her legs and keeping her gaze fixed on the ground.

Clarke wanted to comfort her but she got the feeling that this was something that Lexa had to do on her own and in her own time. Comforting could come after everything had been said.

Lexa cleared her throat before she began. "Costia. She was...she was mine. Ice Nation took her, tortured her. C-cut off her head.." Her voice broke a little and Clarke could see memories flickering in Lexa's eyes, but yet she continued despite the pain.

"They delivered it to my bed and that was the first time I'd truly lost someone close to me. Needless to say it wasn't the last." She looked directly at Clarke now, and the blonde-girl felt it like a shot to the heart. Lexa hadn't lost Clarke but she knew that she might as well have, considering the recent rejection. Clarke shook her head.

"Lexa I'm sorry. I had no idea."
"Save it. You don't feel the same about me and I just have to accept that. But that doesn't mean I should betray Costia in the process." Lexa was shaking violently now and Clarke knew that she had to interfere. Seeing Lexa so shaken was killing her, her entire body was urging to comfort her.

The blonde-girl shuffled closer, gently placing her hand on Lexa's shoulder before she slid her arm across her back and brought her into an embrace. The Commander tried to wriggle away but Clarke held her in place and shushed her until Lexa's body eventually fell limp.

"You're not betraying Costia. You could never do that. I'm sure she'd want you to move on if she were still here to tell you so herself." Clarke's fingers trailed gently through Lexa's hair and the Commander brought her arms up around Clarke too, holding onto the blonde-haired girl like she was terrified of letting her go.

"So tell me what to do Clarke? I've tried moving on but the girl I tried to do that with doesn't feel the same." She snapped and Clarke felt another pang though her chest. She opened her mouth to speak but she could feel Lexa's hands balling into Clarke's shirt and small vibrations were sent through the blonde-girl as Lexa began to sob. Clarke's eyes widened in disbelief but that's when she felt her shirt grow damp from tears. This can't be happening. Lexa didn't cry.

For some reason Clarke felt like her entire world had been shaken and it took her a few moments to realise that Lexa was at the centre of it. If Lexa was upset, so was she.

Clarke's arms tightened around Lexa and she felt the dark-haired girl sob harder. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Lexa's forehead, still stroking her hair soothingly. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she knew that she was on the brink of breaking down herself. Tears stung Clarke's eyes and she buried her head into Lexa's neck.

"Please, don't cry Lexa. It's okay."
"No it isn't!" She cried and Clarke could hear years of pain in the words. Years of keeping things to herself. Years of being alone.

"There's no one left to care about me." She whispered in defeat. There was a long silence after that and the only sound that could be heard was the soft breathing of the two girls and the occasional sob from Lexa as she shook out her emotions.

"That's not true.." Clarke croaked eventually and Lexa looked at the other girl in confusion, finally pulling away from the embrace. The dark-haired girl's eyes were red and her cheeks were still damp, even as she tried to wipe them. Clarke reached up and caught her hand, stopping Lexa from covering her face.

"I care about you. I always have." The blonde-haired girl smiled softly, feeling her stomach lurch uneasily as she felt unsure of revealing her feelings.
"From the day I first saw your face.. I knew you were special. And that you were someone who I needed in my life."

Lexa looked shocked, like she didn't believe what Clarke was saying.

"What are you saying? You've never cared about me. When we were reunited in Polis you told me that I was a bitch. You spat in my face Clarke."

"You'd just abandoned me at Mt Weather. You went back on that plan, not me. Of course I was upset. But even then, I thought it was obvious."
"Thought what was obvious?" Lexa asked, looking down again, a defeated look on her face, like she was done with the entire conversation.
Clarke sighed and brought her hand up to cup Lexa's face, pushing her chin upwards so that she was able to look into those beautiful blue eyes.

"I thought it was obvious that I.." Clarke stopped herself from talking and she felt herself blushing again, knowing full well what she wanted to say. She swallowed and leaned in closer to Lexa, stopping just before her lips could meet the other girl's. She could feel Lexa's breath warmly against her lips and it tingled slightly, making her blush deeper.

"I thought it was obvious that i'm completely in love with you." She said, so quietly that she was almost sure that Lexa hadn't heard it. Although when she looked back into Lexa's eyes she could see how wide they were. She'd definitely heard what Clarke had said and her breathing had grown significantly quicker, her eyes tearing up again.

Lexa's lips trembled slightly and she bit down softly on her bottom lip, a small smile creeping onto her face. As Clarke looked at her she couldn't help but notice the faint imprint of laughter lines at the corners of her mouth. She knew it must have been Costia who had made Lexa smile once and Clarke felt honoured to have made it happen again.

"I can't believe you just said that.." Lexa whispered as she looked up again, her eyes glinting with tears. Clarke's eyes were already dampened and she smiled at the other girl.

"Why not? It's true. I've always been in love with you Lexa. I just couldn't see-" Clarke began but was silenced by the feeling of Lexa's lips against her own as she kissed her deeply. The blonde-haired girl let out a surprised gasp before she kissed back, her body on fire with the sensations. Her eyes closed slowly and the kiss grew softer and somehow it felt more personal, like for the first time since they'd met, they really felt for each other. None of the kisses before now could have ever compared to how this felt, it was like all of the anger and pain of the past few weeks was gone and all that was left were two people. Two people who were in love with each other.

Clarke leaned into the kiss, feeling every nerve in her body yearn for Lexa. It wasn't purely sexual, but emotional too. She wanted to be as close to Lexa as possible and feel the warm feeling that coursed through her chest every time the other girl was around. She didn't know what it was but Clarke knew she never wanted to stop feeling it. This feeling of pure euphoria. This feeling of complete happiness.

Lexa's fingers trailed back through Clarke's hair, pushing it out of her face as she tilted her head to kiss Clarke deeper. But still she remained respectful, not trying to rush anything and that's when Clarke truly felt a connection with Lexa. Like this girl in front of her was all she needed in this moment and in every moment after.

After a few moments Lexa slowly pulled away, breathing heavily. Clarke could still taste Lexa on her lips and feel the sensation of where they had once been. She missed it already but it was worth it to see the small smile that Lexa had on her face and the faint thudding of her heartbeat as it pounded against her chest.

"I told you I care about you Lexa and I promise. I'm going to be there every day to make sure that you're still smiling. Always smiling.." She said, her blush redder than ever as Lexa looked at Clarke. She was already smiling widely and Clarke felt her heart warm again. She was one step closer to making Lexa happier again, and it was the best feeling in the world.