PATIENT LOVE

Chapter thrity-eight

"Can I ask you something?" I ask.

"Of course love," Harry says, pulling me closer to his bare chest, signs of sweat still on his skin from what we just did.

"When did they say the DNA test results would come back?" I ask, very curious.

"Two to three weeks, I know it's a while to wait." His thumb rubs the skin of my shoulder.

I frown at his words. It definitely is a while.

"Why?" he asks.

"I just want this feeling of not knowing to be over, I want to know that I have you or not because if the baby turns out to be yours then I understand if you want to make sure your family's intact. I would never stop you from doing that."

"What?" he says, green eyes staring down at me so hard.

"Because I know how not having your father always affected you, you wouldn't want the same for your child."

He's quiet, but his gaze never falters.

"If the baby's mine, it doesn't change anything between us, I told you before that you're it. I want to be with you for as many days as I have."

"But that's what you're saying now but things could turn out to be different.

"Different?" he asks, body rising from his shock.

"Yes, because we're all guilty of making choices in the moment but when the time comes that's when what we said really matters, whether we own up to it or back down." I'm starting to rant and I know it but once all of these uncertainties start to flow out of me, it's like I can't stop it until everything's been said.

"And I'm just saying that it's okay, whatever happens it's okay because you gave me new memories and taught me things about myself that I'll always hold to, but regardless of that I want you to do the right thing. And if the right thing is being with Jess so the baby has a father, then so be it. I just don't want you to have to choose between anything, this could really end up changing lots of lives-" Harry's lips stop my rant. And I'm hesitant to react but do anyways. Our lips separate and I hold back a sob, resting my forehead on his chest, not wanting to look at those eyes at this moment.

I feel him inch himself closer to me so that his lips fall right next to my ear. He still hasn't said anything and my heart will not stop its pounding. He lifts up my hand, trailing with his finger a line on each of my fingers before kissing the back of my hand and my palm. He laces our fingers together and I sniffle as he brings it close to his chest, his other hand threading into my hair.

"You talk so much about what's not even happening right now, things that aren't today's problem, Madelyn." He whispers at my ear, voice surprisingly calm despite all the anxiety and fears I just laid out to him.

"But it scares me Harry, scares the shit of me now that I know everything."

He sighs. "Baby, look at me." He's tugging at my arm, pulling me up so my face moves from its comforting position on his chest.

"I won't be going back to Jessica, we're completely different people now, I just think I rushed into marriage too quickly for the perfect family but we wasted three years of our lives planning a wedding that was never going to happen. And now with this whole pregnancy we'll see how it works out. Choosing to be with you doesn't mean I can't still be a father to the baby if it's mine that is."

I take in all his words, trying to find comfort from them.

"You're right," I sniffle.

"I know, don't doubt us," he pleas.