Make Me Yours (Lost Star)

Route 14

Hinatid ako ni Eos sa bahay. It's already 7pm when I got home. As much as I want to invite him in even just for a while, I can't. Siguradong nasa bahay na si Mommy at Daddy. And introducing Eos at this moment is not a good idea at all.

Nag-uusap na ulit ang parents ko but I can sense something is still not right. Hindi ako makapagtanong dahil hindi ko naman alam kung ano ang gusto kong malaman.

Gusto ko sanang ipakilala siya pero natatakot din ako. Especially to my mother. I know she won't like the news. Si Keana at Eula nga hanggang ngayo'y hindi niya gusto. Paano pa si Eos na ngayon lang niya makikilala? Ngayon lang din ako magpapakilala ng kaibigang lalaki kung sakali.

I know that I'm attracted to Eos. I won't entertain him in the first place if not. Iyon pa ang isa kong ikinakatakot. Everything feels different everytime I'm with him. He has this huge effect on me that makes me scared and excited at the same time. I've never felt this before but I do know how to differentiate two things. I won't deny it. It's too early. Ako mismo ay kinakabahan sa tuwing maiisip ko ito.

But this feeling is too wonderful to be ignored.

Maybe I will introduce Eos but not now. Mag-iipon pa ako ng lakas ng loob.

Pagpasok ko ng bahay ay nakasalubong ko agad ang isang maid. She told me that my parents are in the garden having tea with Trish. Doon na ako dumiretso. Pero nang makarating doon ay si Mommy lamang ang aking nadatnan. Gusto ko sanang huwag munang tumuloy pero nahagip na ako ng kanyang paningin. Lumapit ako.

"Good evening po." I kissed her cheek.

"Ginabi ka." Puna nito. Agad akong kinabahan. Para bang gumawa ako ng isang malaking kasalanan at ngayon ay madadagdagan dahil sa pagsisinungaling.

"I went out with my friends, mom."

"Eula and Keana?" She raised a brow. Hindi ko alam kung tatango ako o iiling. I'm not really good at lying that sometimes I wish I am.

"Opo..." mahina kong tugon at agad na nag-iwas ng tingin.

"They're not really good for you. How many times do I have to tell you this?" Umiiling nitong sabi.

"Bakit po ba ayaw niyo sa kanila?" Ako mismo ay nagulat nang lumabas iyon sa aking bibig. Nang ibaba ni Mommy ang tasang hawak ay nagyuko ako agad. Shit, Dionne!

"Because they will just pull you down."

Nangunot ang akin noo dahil sa sagot ni Mommy. Pull me down? How so?

"They're not like that, Mom." Sagot ko. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya. Huminga siya ng malalim bago sumandal. I bit the insides of my mouth. My mom's really intimidating.

"If I ask you to study abroad, will you go?"

Sandali akong natigilan sa tanong ni Mommy. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa kaba. I was just looking at her.

Kahit kailan ay hindi sumagi sa aking isip ang mag-aral sa ibang bansa.

I've never thought of that. I've never thought of... leaving.

And now that my mom decided to open it up... I can't help but to feel scared. I somehow feel that it's really gonna happen.

"See? You can't even answer my question." Sabi nito. "They're important to you. You're too attached. They will affect your decisions no matter what-"

"Sweetie." Mom stopped. Napalingon ako sa likod nang marinig ang boses ni Daddy. Nakangiti itong lumapit sa akin at hinalikan ako sa noo. I tried to smile.

"Hi, Dad."

"Where have you been? Hindi ka nakaabot sa dinner. Tinatawagan ka ng kapatid mo pero hindi ka sumasagot." Nag-aalala nitong sabi.