Make Me Yours (Lost Star)

Route 32

He stiffened. Ramdam ko ang pagbigat ng kanyang paghinga at ang unti-unti nitong pagkalas sa akin.

"What did you just say?" He whispered, almost hissing. His voice is rough like he's controlling his anger. Napapikit ako sa sakit na naramdaman dahil sa tono ng kanyang pananalita. I can feel the frustration. He suddenly let go of me. I stumbled backwards because of that. Napahikbi ako.

"Eos..." I looked at him. Hirap na hirap ang kanyang itsura habang nakatunghay sa akin. Kahit na nanlalabo ang mga mata ay pilit kong hinahanap ang isang emosyon sa kanyang mga mata. Just that one emotion... please...

I don't care if I look like I'm begging. May iilang estudyanteng nakakakita sa amin pero wala akong pakialam. All that matter is him.

"You..." Tumingin ito sa itaas at biglang natawa. Umiling iling ito. "Are you playing with me again?"

Mabilis ang ginawa kong pag-iling. Masakit na hindi niya pinaniniwalaan ang aking sinabi. I'm here, in front of him, confessing my feelings and he doesn't even want to believe me. He clearly said that he hates me but I still confessed. How stupid can I get?

Tumalikod siya at nagsimulang maglakad palayo sa akin. I panicked. I don't want to lose this chance. Mabibilis ang hakbang na sumunod ako sa kanya. Patuloy sa pagbuhos ang aking mga luha kahit anong pigil ko doon.

"Eos, please. Listen to me." Habol ko pa rin dito. Hindi siya sumasagot. Hindi niya ako nililingon. Para na akong tanga na nakasunod habang umiiyak sa kanya.

I want to make things clear. Alam kong nasaktan ko siya ng husto sa aking sinabi noon. I want to explain my side. I want to tell him how wonderful he is. Bahala na siya kung tatanggapin niya ako o hindi. Basta ay nasabi ko ang gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ay sapat na.

"Eos." Nahabol ko siya nang makarating na kami sa parking lot. He was about to open his car's door when I held his arm. Marahas siyang humarap sa akin.

"You don't just fucking say that you love me after you told me how undeserving I am of your love! You don't get to play with my feelings twice, Empress! I'm not your fucking toy!" Napatalon ako sa sigaw nito. Inihilamos niya ang kanyang mga palad sa kanyang mukha. Matalim na matalim ang kanyang tingin sa akin. "Hindi porke't alam mong mahal kita ay gagaguhin mo ako ngayon!"

I was stunned. Kitang kita ko ang sakit sa kanyang mga mata. Pati ang pagpatak ng aking mga luha ay tumigil. An emotion sparked in his gray eyes. That emotion alone is enough for me to go on. Nabuhayan ako ng loob. I felt my heart coming back to life.

Am I not too late, Eos? Is there still a chance?

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Eos. I never wanted to hurt you." I said. Hindi ako umiwas ng tingin sa kanya. Pinaningkitan niya ako ng mga mata. I want to tell every drop of my feelings for him while drowning in those set of gray eyes. "I actually want to spare you from it. Kaya lumayo ako sayo dahil ayokong saktan ka. I am the one who's not deserving of you-"

"Bullshit! Who are you to tell who's deserving of me and not, huh?" He snapped. Pumikit ako't huminga ng malalim. Hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin ito sa akin. I smiled bitterly at him.

"Because you deserve to be fought for, Eos. You deserve to be happy. I can't fight for you. I can't even stand for you in front of my own mother! Wala akong ginawa kundi sumunod dahil takot ako! I'm a coward and you don't deserve this coward! You deserve someone better and that's not me!" Pinunasan ko ang luhang lumandas sa aking pisngi. I sobbed. "I thought of keeping you for myself at first. To hide you from everyone. But when I realized what I'm depriving you from, I thought of how selfish I was to take those rights from you."
He was just looking at me like I'm a puzzle he badly wants to solve. He's staring at me like he wants to understand everything that I have to say to him.