the nowhere of believers.

5

" I know how to love
but I never noticed
what's the meaning of living...
I guess I  don't remember
how I'm supposed to.
how it is the way to live really? "

" you're so different,
nothing would hide
the way I feel.
and now that
I feel strange about my heart,
I have to deal with something real.
you may take back your words,
and shatter our memories,
you may leave me pale,
but I would be the one
taking you home.

you would cry
a million times for loosing me,
but I would still watch you
with the words in my eyes,
killing me, breaking me and I,
and I still think you're
the most beautiful drunkin head. "

" keep on knocking
on my door,
and in the last knock,
when I open,
is it as fine
if I asked you
not to disappear again?
and I would treat you
the way I treated myself,
I would say sorry
to myself before I do to you,
I would say sorry to myself twice
for the way I treated you with before.
also not to look at your face
like it's the last time we would talk. and have those stars in our eyes,
my mind fantasizes
even more before you
grab my hips so you could
kiss me softly and my body
is pushed hard to the wall.
I remember, we never had enough. "

" you're still my man,
and I'm still...
your left on the ground
dead beautiful daisy
kind of memory that
once made you the happiest. "

" throw me away,
my life stopped here,
dead in your pocket,
like the picture of us
you had ripped
transferred to black
bc of your used cigarettes. "

" thanks for giving me
the chances to
get over you,
maybe later I
would be better,
that's how you
stop selfishness
in society,
burn, to live. "

" not all humans
deserve to have a life.
Im the real proof.
  your lifeless little young lover. "

" I would even
throw my memories,
and leave it in an alive nightmare, too bad, it needs to exist every night. "

" And, what's wrong?
with sharing my honesty?
could've been
so beautiful how I felt, raised myself,
grown all alone
with no one
to take care of me.
I was happy.
I was standing strong
with every sunny day,
With the sunrise, till the sunset."

" could've been
so beautiful the way I
dreamt of you and...
the snow I wished I've seen..
And it's raining now,
no one's around, am I dead?
so you know who's us?
we're drown in our oceans
calmly and sending silent messages.
rill we become just memories,
my lover.
were just universal stars
distanced away from each other,
being tortured
and laughing together
about our bad days,
being awake with no tiredness,
my hopeless lover. "

" never thought
of being a mermaid,
but living in the oceans
is so much better. "

" dear no one,
you're my escape
and what I'm running from,
I'm carried away
with my emotions,
but I will not
ask for a help.
and I will wait
for heaven to come over."

" you were here,
but you still never walked away."

" you know that
I'm so brave?
I've talked about
my bad side,
and you're still
listening
to the shit I say...
Smiling. "

" even if earth
had no gravity,
you'll fall for me
every single time
just like how things float in space. "

- Clary Elvis