the nowhere of believers.

34

I call myself leave-able,
I call myself the little
disappointment that left.
in the dark, my head travels 
from one galaxy to another.
from a deep thought to the other.
I'm out of control,
and it became believable.

I like the idea that I'm breathing,
what they call 'survive'
but don't you think you
need a savor to survive?

I threw all my feelings away
as I  willed to hear the words
you wanted to say,
I willed to feel the screams,
of you teaching me to understand
what's behind the scenes,
I willed to be touched by you
calling me to feel something.
but the pain,
your pain on how
you would survive without me now,
like you're the one,
needing a savor.
And I'm dancing on the edge,
so why didn't you make a move?
waiting for you
to take me back,
hold me close.
save me even though
I knew that is just a waste of time.
Part of you just needed
our love to end me.

should've let you know,
the broken me you've never met.

I call myself leave-able,
and you cannot blame me for falling.

It's the time,
You listened to my body drop hard,
when I hit the waves of the ocean,
and how fast the dead waves,
embraced me and saved me,
took me quicker than any other.
And way quicker than you.
days passed like a
working time machine,
and you still remember,

How coward you stayed,
and how brave
I ended
Up like.

" I'm s-sorry.. I lost her, "
you wiped your awful tears.
" I loved her, though
our thoughts ruined us and killed everything, I thought I'm a coward so I couldn't jump there to save a pretty soul like hers
She thought she's leave-able,
was the reason for me to be a lost boy.
I couldn't find your hand in the ocean.

I would've begged.
I would've told her she's insane.
she's insane to think that I could
keep her out of my mind.

And press hard on her waist.
Eye to eye.
Blue eyes begs green eyes.
lips pressed hard and tears drop.
a storm took place.

I thought,
I thought the storm would take us home to my car and drive ways,
keep her, my gifted angel, safe.
we'll just be home,
we'll be cuddling silently.
holding each other tight,
All night,
I just thought.

Storms and waves took her away.
they ate her.
and if the waves had a voice,
waves would have pleasuring voices,
eating the body of hers.
and then I hear the devilish
cruel laughs.
they saved her from my thoughts
I blame her for now.

She doesn't feel, she turn away. 

-ClaryElvis