the nowhere of believers.

13

Even watching the rain couldn't save me from the jail of feelings i felt inside my head,
well lets say now i make no difference to you than a manic slut.

Since the time you left, i promised you that ill never
leave this spot, this place.
"you're cold, aren't you?"
you were smirking as I remember and you surprised me from my back
then i gave you a blushy smile and blinked as a yes.
here i am sitting on our all time wooden chair and watching your favorite sight
throughtfully in this origin 
agreeing to your question by now.
covering myself with your blanket, Remember? the one with the softest
fabric. the one we used to cover ourselves with, when we're sitting beside the fire gathered all around with our friends in Christmas nights, eating marshmallow.
i hate starring blankly at that view,
i figured it all out,
that you ain't here for me anymore,
while your flashbacks are coming back to me.
i guess i got nothing more than a memorable blanket
that i can loose yet.
i hate knowing that you'll never ever be the same, I hate that.
i could not find any strength
in my power of being alive for as long as possible, or being the most
patient person on earth
like you used to know me.
but if you were here, would you think im hiding something that i can confess, my lover?
i pretended to be a strong glass and tried to figure out if you're gonna fix the chemistry of the beautiful soul you made alive.
and i know that my thinking is all mixed up, I all of a sudden erased my sincere words that i feel towards you
for fear of complete refusal, just wasted a lot of time waiting for the perfect moment for us to happen.
but where's the perfect moment i'm taking if i didn't make
any move already?
well by saying that, its enough for me to do one thing you'd
remember me with.
the last piece of me you would capture in your mind,
is all i wanted to do.
All i wanted to do was making you satisfied to feel hopeful, even if I went beyond the roads.
baby sometimes not only the sun is the source of warmth to your soul.

its not the sun the only source you wait for to live with every moment something new or adventure.

its not the sun the only thing that makes the best of you every morning and before getting ready for work.

i left those pages to make you look at who you are,
its not the right time to look up and care less about your problems.
its your time to realize whats around and be sad inside so you can escape from the grave you put yourself in.

-ClaryElvis