She And I

For Real?

I didn't know how to take that breakup. It was just painful. In the end, sulking just made me a loser.

Was I a sucker in love? 

Did I have regrets?

How long had I been listening to this song? We just had the same feelings. 

The phone was ringing. 

I was truly reluctant to answer the phone. Fine! I just put up the phone. 

"Hello? Frida, you okay?" I knew that voice. How could I forget? It was the voice I was waiting for.

But of course, I sadly replied. "Anna...I'm not really okay. You know how much I feel."

"Kind of yes and no... It was a different and difficult situation for you. How could he do such a thing?"

"Let's not talk about that." I replied with a soft voice.

"Frida, you've been there for days now. Can we go out? I wanna see you so bad. It's time for me to make it up to you." She asked, intending to cheer me up. 

 "I don't want to go out yet. I just want to stay here."

"I know you'll say that. I'll be coming over, okay? Just stay there..." Then she dropped the phone.

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

I never put the phone down. I just left it hanging, and lay on my bed. I kept the music playing repeatedly. It was Phil Collins' In the Air Tonight. I was still thinking about my worth. It was not my first time to be divorced, but it was just a heavier issue to face. After all those years, it would just end this way. Wow! Just wow! 

I covered my eyes with one arm. I tried to hold my tears, but they just came out. I tried to forget, but the pictures just came back in my head. I sobbed. I screamed. I pounded the pillow. Typical heartbroken film scenes, and I was not overreacting. It really happens. 

Then I fell asleep while waiting for Anna. I didn't dare to prepare myself. I didn't change the clothes that I was wearing. Suddenly, I was awaken by a sound from outside. It was a car horn. It's her. 

I just unlocked the main door. I didn't mind the probability that it may be someone else. Screw it! Your ex won't come back anymore! I lay on the sofa, trying to pretend that I was asleep. I just didn't know if being with her would make me feel better. 

I loved the both of them, really. I could recall the time that I was just waiting for this moment to happen. Now that it happened, why do I feel differently? Should I be happy knowing that we could have each other? Oh please! 

I heard the door opened. I heard some steps on the floor. I had my face covered by a pillow. 

"Frida? You home?" It was her voice; it was Anna. "Hey? You alive?" Then she quickly ran to me. She shook me, but I played dead. Played dead, NOT DEAD...get it?  "Come on Frida! Don't die now..." She knew I was just playing her, so she said those words pretending to cry.

"I'm not yet dead,..." I pushed the pillow to her. I tried to smile for her, but it was just a fake.

"But almost... I'm still here, baby." 

I got conscious of what she said. Baby? I can recall that she sang that in a deleted Rock Me. I acted like a woman fainting as I was lovestruck. 

"Frida?!" She shouted. 

"I got you there babe..." I laughed. I felt lighter. It was as if the heaviness was gone. I felt love still exists. 

"Did you just call me babe?" Her smile faded. Oh yeah. Wrong word. She was reminded of Big Brother. I quickly got up and reached for her hand. She was shaking. "I'm sorry, angel. I just got excited." 

Then she looked at me, smiling. "I was just acting!" Of course, she lied. "You can call me babe. You called me Babe Bleachie in the first place." Oh yeah...I still called her that way without hurting her before. But it was still weird. Is this for real?

"Are we like...? Like? For real?" I was stunned. I just couldn't believe that after going through dilemma, we just ended up together. 

"Yes, Frida." I smiled at me, and gripped my hand. "We are meant to be, fated, destined... WHATEVER THEY CALL IT... This time, for real. I love you, Frida. You never left me, and you kept fighting for this love."

"Hey..." I put my other hand on top of hers. "I'm not asking you to return the love, okay? Being here with me through this hard time is already enough. No matter what happens, you'll always be my darling angel." 

"For real?" She childishly asked. 

"No need to ask." I quickly kissed her lips. I pushed her to my sofa, and passion filled me. I missed her after that night at her house. That night when I was broken. That night when she and I shared the love on top of my car's roof. "I have been longing for this moment to come."

"We are just fated, aren't we?" She continued kissing me. She removed my top. I removed hers too. 

Things were just fast, though it was happening in slow motion between us. It was like a film, sensationalizing the details. 

"Frida, do you promise not to sulk again?"

"For you, love..." I kissed her from below. "angel..." I kissed her collarbones then her neck. "babe." I finally kissed her lips. 

"I love you, Frida." She said after taking a breath. 

"I love you, Anna, my angel." 

We just spent that night. We went to my bedroom. And we continued those moments. She even let me stay at her place during the weekend (if work permits). I just love my real angel.

She was there while I was weak.

I was there while she was weak.

She and I loved each other. 

We were just fated. 

I LOVE YOU ANNA! 

[Some trivia about myself: I enjoy playing the drums, though I am not good at it. I like "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins, especially the ending part. I also play the guitar. I sing sometimes, but I am not as good as Frida or Agnetha; THEY'RE WAY BEYOND GREATNESS! -author]