Twenty.

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A week later.
I walked out of the bus.
It was past midnight.
I lighted my ciggy and looked around.
I coudn't sleep.
"Ello lass" I heard a voice behind me
I turned around and saw bondy with a ciggy in his mouth.
"You scared me mate" I whispered
"I'm sorry love" he chuckled
"Don't you sleep normally around this time?" I asked he looked at me and shook his head "nah, I don't sleep that much really, Van didn't sleep either on the last tour, but since you are here he's much better, much better sleeping, much happier" he said I gave him a small smile "I'm happy you are here you know? We all love you" he chuckled "thank you" i smiled

I woke up hours later.
I groaned and looked at my phone.
11 in the morning.
I looked around seeing that Larry and Van are gone.
I sighed and stood up.
I grabbed van's shirt and walked to the front of the bus where everyone sat.
"Hello" I said in a morning voice
"Oh here she is" Van said
I sat on his lap and smiled at him
"We are going to an hotel tonight" Van said I smiled I cuddled in his chest.
"I'm going for a ciggy outside be right back" he whispered I nodded and stood up
Bondy and I had a conversation about his hat, I then decided to get dressed.
I walked into the lounge room and grabbed my clothes.
"Mate what do I do then?" I heard Van saying outside.
I couldn't hear him good so I opened a window.
"You just gotta tell her Van" Larry said
Van sighed "tell here I slept with other girls when she was at home waiting for me?" Van said my eyes grew wide
He slept with girls? When we were a thing? The girl at the salon was right I guess.
I closed my eyes "mate I'm pissed if you don't tell her she needs to know" Larry sighed
I got a flash back
He pulled off my shirt and looked at me
"You are the most gorgeous women I ever seen" he whispered "don't sell me that stuff" I whispered with a laugh
I felt a tear roll down my cheek
I closed the window and grabbed my shirt and a nice skirt.
I grabbed my shoes and my phone.
I called matty. "Hey love" he said "how are ya?" I asked "I'm doing good, still together with Gemma Anna is going good as well, and you?" He asked
I sighed "I'm great thank you" I whispered "you are?" He asked I closed my eyes again "I am" I whispered "alright...I miss you" he whispered "I miss you too" I spoke "come back soon yeah?" He said I nodded "I will" I said

I walked to the front of the bus and sat down next to Benji "where's bondy and Bob?" I asked "looking around" he said
I nodded "how late are going to the venue?" I asked "eh, I think in an hour" Benji said I nodded.
Van and Larry then walked in.
"Hey Lilly" Larry said "hi" I whispered
Van sat next to me and kissed my cheek
"Eh mate" Benji said "eh lad" Van said
I sighed and stood up
I walked out of the bus having a ciggy.
I looked around and sighed
How could he do this to me?

We arrived at the venue.
I was quite the whole way.
We stepped out and walked into the venue with everyone
Bob and I talked about drumming and how much he loved doing it.
we then sat down.
It was dark outside already.
"Who is up for a beer?" Mike yelled
Everyone cheered.
I looked down at my nails.
I sat next the the man who cheated on me many times, the thought of that made me sick.
"Ya want one too?" Larry asked I nodded and grabbed a glass
I quickly drank the beer and sighed.
"Wow mate" Benji laughed

The gig Finnished
We walked back towards the bus.
No fan was here anymore, everyone was gone.
It was quite.
I looked at my cigarette, there were only two left.
Everyone walked into the bus "I'm going to get some ciggy's, I'll be right back!" I yelled
I started walking "Lilly!" Van yelled
He catched up with me and looked at me "Lilly what's wrong?" He asked me I didn't reply and kept walking.
"Lilly!" He said "shut up" I whispered
He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me "Lilly tell me" he whispered
"You never cared about me you don't care about me now, you played with my feelings, you don't love me, I'm not the only one who is the most gorgeous women in the world and if we weren't on the other side of the world on your but In Liverpool, I never saw you again" I said, tears filling my eyes.
He looked at me "I slept with those girls cause I missed you Lilly I love you, I wouldn't bring you on tour with me if I didn't loved you right? I do all this stuff for you cause I love you, and those nights were mistakes, I was either drunk or high" he said but I walked away "fuckin' bullshit" I whispered
"Come back!" Van yelled "you don't love me you never cared!" I screamed at him he looked at me with big eyes
"I fuckin' care more about you then I care about anyone alright! You are everything I need!" He yelled "don't lie" I whispered "listen Lilly, there is so much to think about yeah? So much to worry about, but all my thoughts are about you Lilly, in in love with you and I'm not afraid of saying it!" He yelled
"You know Van, every time you mess up I keep crawling back to you, and everytime I do this my heart hurts more and I get more confused, I can't let you hurt me anymore" i whispered
"I'm not going to hurt you anymore Lilly I'm dead serious" he whispered
I looked at him
"I need to think" I whispered walking forward he sighed "I love you" he whispered "I love you more" I whispered so softly that he couldn't hear
What was I doing with my life?

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Hey what's up? Sad chapter I know I know.
Anyways how are you guys?
Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

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