Van and i lay on my bed.
We both couldn't sleep.
I looked at him, it was dark, only the moonlight was shining in my room.
I crawled into his chest
"I wish it was easy" I whispered
"What?" He asked
"You and me" I whispered
"Nothing's easy" he whispered
It was quite for a while.
"Why are we being like this?" He asked "like what?" I whispered
"We both love each other, we keep walking back into each other's life's, but then just simply walk away again" he said "Van" I whispered "yes?" He said "I just think we're not meant to be" i whispered "we just did it wrong" he sighed "why don't we give it a go?" He whispered "I'm scared" I whispered
"Why?" He asked "to get hurt again" I whispered
He didn't answer, "this is the last time right?" I asked "last time seeing each other?" I added
I felt a tear roll down my cheek
He nodded
"I don't want to" he said
"Me either" I whispered
I woke up in an empty bed.
I sat up and looked around.
Van was gone.
I sighed and got out of bed.
I walked into the living room
"Goodmorning" Zachary said
"Hey" i whispered
"Oh Lilly?" He said
"Yeah?" I spoke
"Van left something" he said handing me an envelope.
"What's this?" I asked
"He said that it was for you" Zach said I nodded and thanked him
He walked into the bedroom
I sat down on the couch and looked at it.
I sighed and opened it,
There was a letter in it, a couple photos, a ring.
I looked at the letter,
I started reading.
Dear Lilly,
I'm writing you this letter cause I'm not able to say this to you,
I'm able to say that I'm going to miss you forever, I'll always think of you.
I love you more then any other person in this world.
So, I found some photos of us back I've always kept close to me, so the first photo is of me and you in New York.
I was absolutely buzzing to travel the world with you, you stood next to me smiling at the face I was pulling, I stopped and looked at you, the lights of the city were shining in your eyes, I couldn't believe you were mine.
Christ, how did I get so luck, I thought.
You smiled and kissed me, just then Benji took a photo of us.
You whispered an I love you and run back to Benji.
I smiled and closed my eyes.
How did it all go so wrong?
The second photo was taken in Japan.
We had so much fun there.
It was a photo of you at night.
We walked around the city, clearly a bit drunk.
I made the photo of you, you looked at me and blew a kiss, if only I could keep that kiss forever.
The third photo was taken in Liverpool.
The place where we made so many memories..
We sat in the bar, Anna took the photo
I put my arm around your shoulder and put my tongue out of my mouth, you crawled into my chest and smiled at the camera, I remember that day, you Anna and I were going to a restaurant we both didn't like, but we were together after I Finished tour so we both thought it didn't matter.
That night we got out with Anna and her boyfriend.
We drank so much beer, how was it possible to remember my own name then?
I miss those times, I really do.
The ring, it's my moms.
She said "give it to someone who is worth it, who you want to spend your entire life with" and I did, cause I can't imagine someone else wearing it.
so please wear it, and think bout me sometimes.
I really wanted to make more memories with you, but I'm lucky I have the view ones I have now.
I remember telling my mom i wanted to marry you, I still want to.
She smiled and hugged me telling I needed to bring you home sometime.
But I never got the change.
Now I'm sitting in your living room at 4 in the morning writing a letter for you, how did we end up breaking like this..
I'll miss your eyes, I'll miss looking in them for hours, when you wake up when in already awake, I could get lost in them, especially when the sun is shining in them, they have a hundred different shades of green and blue in it.
I'm just going to miss you Lilly.
More then everything.
I hope your gonna be happy like you promised me one day, even if it's not with me, remember me.
That's all I ever want,
From Van.
