- two weeks later
Me and Van were home again.
Well..at my apartment, again.
We sat on the couch smoking some fags.
Anna walked in "where's Zachary?" I asked "home" she said "why?" I asked "I don't know" she whispered
"You two okay?" I asked she nodded
"Alright" she said
We watched a movie and walked into my bedroom
Anna was still watching tv.
I sighed and lay on my bed.
"You okay?" Van asked I nodded "yeah why?" I asked
He lay next to me "don't know, just checking" he smiled kissing my temple
Van was going on tour in a couple days
I wasn't sad cause we sorted things out, and matured about those situations more.
I looked at him, "I'll miss you" I whispered "you can visit anytime love" he whispered kissing my face
I sighed and crawled into his chest
"I love you so much" I whispered
"I love you much" he whispered kissing my cheek.
I woke up the next morning looking at van's gorgeous eyes "you were up already?" I asked he nodded
"Needed a smoke" he whispered
"How did ya sleep?" He asked
"Good thank you" I smiled standing up
"You are so beautiful" he whispered I smiled and kissed him slowly
we sat in the kitchen
"I want to go out tonight" I whispered
"Let's do that then" he whispered
I nodded and got ready
I got dressed and did my make up
I walked towards the door calling Van
"Where's Anna?" He asked
"At Zachary's" I whispered he nodded
We walked towards a good pub and got in.
"You look gorgeous as always" he whispered
I thanked him and stood against the bar.
I looked around seeing Benji and Larry walking towards us.
I smiled and greeted them, so did Van.
We spend the night talking and laughing.
And as usual I got drunk.
"I'm going to the toilet" I whispered Van nodded
I walked towards the toilets and looked into the mirror, my eyes red, my hair messy.
I did my lipstick and walked out,
Seeing Van talking with a girl.
I frowned and stood still looking at them a little longer.
I saw Benji talking with bondy.
Van was smiling and laughing with the girl shaking her hand.
I walked towards the bar and sat down.
I ordered a drink and shook my head.
"Had a rough day?" A guy asked
I looked at him, then at Van and the girl.
I grabbed him and kissed his lips.
What the fuck was I doing?
I would slap myself if I wasn't wasted as hell.
I kept kissing him.
I soon felt a hand grabbing me by the arm and slurred my away from the boy.
I looked at who it was seeing van.
He pulled me outside, "what the hell was that yeah!?" He yelled, I never saw him that pissed.
"What ya mean?" I asked clearly confused shaking my head "you were sucking that guys face off!" He yelled
I started crying "no I wasn't!" I yelled
"Lilly!" He yelled
"I- I can-" I started but he cut me off "no Lilly" he whispered
I looked at him "I can't believe what you just did ya know?" He whispered
He looked at me for a moment
"Listen, I'll walk you home cause I care bout you and cause your drunk and its late" he said
He started walking
I followed
When we arrived home, I looked at him
"why Lilly?" He asked
"I saw you and a girl talking and laughing an-" I started but he cut me off "so that's when you thought 'hey I should kiss a random guy in a bar? Lilly how could you?" He whispered
I swallowed and looked at him
"So when we had a thing and I was on the other side of the world that gave you the idea to sleep around with another girls?" I said raising my voice
He looked at me "you know it was a mistake-" he started but I cut him off
"Mistakes Van, mistakes, and I kissed one man in the bar when I'm completely wasted and you turn the other way?" I said hurt
He shook his head "I'm just hurt alright? I never thought you would do this" he whispered
I turned around and wiped a tear away
"Goodnight Van" I said unlocking the door
"You just gonna leave now?" He asked
"You didn't want to stay right, after i just gave a man a kiss, when I'm wasted" I said with sarcasm
He shook his head "I'll come tomorrow when you are sober, goodnight" he whispered
"No it's over van I don't want you 'round! You don't even love me do you!" I yelled
The next morning I woke up,
I looked around feeling like hell.
Why wasn't Van laying next to me?
I frowned and closed my eyes with a sigh.
Minutes later i stood up and grabbed an T-shirt.
I walked into the kitchen,
"Hello" Anna said "goodmorning" I sighed "what's wrong?" Anna asked
"I don't remember what happened but van's gone" I whispered frowning
"You two were arguing in the hall last time, i could hear you two, but I thought van was staying so I didn't come 'round" she whispered
I closed my eyes "did ya hear what it was about?" I asked she looked down
"Uh, well it was about a boy and a kiss or something" she whispered looking at me I looked at her, i remember a bit of it now!
I kissed a guy at the bar.
Shit.
I walked back into my bedroom and got dressed.
I grabbed my coat and run out of my apartment.
I got a taxi and stood infront of the hotel was staying in.
I sighed and walked in,
Minutes later I stood in front of his room.
I sighed and knocked on the door.
Seconds later he opened the door.
"Lilly?" He said I swallowed
"I woke up this morning seeing you weren't laying there, so I asked Anna what happened and she said she heard us yelling in the hall yesterday, and now i remember it slightly, I kissed a stranger at a bar when i was wasted" I said he looked at me and shook his head slowly
"What?" I whispered
"we broke up yesterday, you said it was over" he said
I closed my eyes and swallowed ones again.
"Van, I was hammered i didn't think properly, i didn't mean that" I whispered,
"Lilly what do you want me to do if you don't want me to come in, you don't want to be with me, and you kissed another guy?" He whispered
"I wanted you to stay!" I said raising my voice
He shook his head "so it's over now?" I whispered
"Lilly honestly I don't think it's work-" he started but I cut him off
"I can't believe you, you slept with many girls while you were gone and i waited for that one phone call to hear how you were doing!" I yelled
"Well maybe you should've just come with me instead of missed me!" He yelled "so that's your excuse? I should've just come?" I whispered
He looked at me
"You know what? You when showed up again I thought you really wanted to do this, I thought you wanted to fight for us again, so i kissed a guy at a bar when i was wasted, you shagged multiple girls telling me weeks after, that's it, van that's it, we can't change that, we love each other and shit happens alright?, I love you and you love me fuck everything around us" i said
He closed his eyes
"I need to tell you something" he whispered
I frowned
He asked me to come in, and I did.
I stood in the hotel room and looked at him.
"That's girl i laughed with yesterday night? She's is very special to me Lilly" he whispered
I looked at him frowning
"you love her?" I asked
He nodded,
"I love her man, i really do, and to see her yesterday it just felt like the old time-" he started, but I cut him off
"Why would you say all this to me don't you think you broke my heart enoug-" I started but he cut me off.
"Lilly, she's my niece" he whispered
I closed my eyes
"I'm sorry I didn't mean-" I started but he cut me off
"Lilly, I love you can we please stop arguing i hate it" he whispered
I nodded and closed my eyes.
Why was everything so hard?
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Hello guys, I had a very busy week so I had trouble updating and finding inspiration and all that.
Apologies, have a good night! X
