She's gotta wait.

Fortythree.

- a couple weeks later.
- Lilly's pov
I sat on the couch looking outside.
I wasn't okay, I was devastated.
I closed my eyes and sighed.
I wondered how he was doing.
"You wanna go too?" Anna asked me
"Yeah alright" I whispered standing up
I grabbed my coat and looked at Anna and saw that she was already looking at me.
"What?" I asked
"You look extremely exhausted, and different, you have bags under your eyes, you don't wear make up anymore" she started I nodded "I know can we go now?" I sighed
She rolled her eyes and walked out of the door.
We arrived at a restaurant and saw that Zachary was sitting inside.
We walked in and sat down.
We greeted him and ordered some food.
I closed my eyes feeling my head hurting.
"What's wrong?" Anna asked me
"I'm just a little tired" I whispered
That was my excuse for everything lately, I'm just tired.
When my boss asked me what was wrong, I told her the same.
I didn't mind people know what happened with me and Van, it was just too hurtful talking about it.
Anna nodded and gave me a small smile.

We arrived home and i immediately walked to my bedroom.
I lay down on my bed closing my eyes.
"Lilly?" Zachary called "bedroom!" I said back
I soon heard my door crack open.
"Hi" he whispered
"Hello" I said opening my eyes.
"So spill" he said "spill what?" I asked
"Your emotions, what's up lately" he whispered
"Since van left i have trouble living as i normally did, i just miss him but i know he isn't coming back again, i really try to move on and all that but i just think i can't do that, and i can't sleep most of the nights, I'll sit in my room and think, the whole night" i whispered
He nodded "why don't you talk to someone about it?" He asked
"Like a psychologist?" I asked he nodded
"I may do that" I whispered
He nodded and hugged me "you'll be alright in time" he said

- van's pov
I opened my eyes looking out of the tourbus.
I sighed, "Bob trow me a ciggy will ya?" I asked he nodded.
I looked outside.
I wasn't doing okay obviously.
I lost my way.
I missed her.
And I wanted to know how she was doing.
I sighed and stood up
"Where we going next?" I asked "New York" bondy said I nodded

We arrived in New York.
"Mate you'll get over it" Bob said
"You don't know what it's like mate" I whispered shaking my head
We walked out of the bus and walked into the venue.
I sat down on a couch in the dressing room and lighted a cigarette
"I've got some new songs for ya" I said
"You have?" Bondy asked, i nodded
"That's good" he smiled
I nodded
We sat around smoking a ciggy and did soundcheck.
"all i really want is you" I sang
Shaking my head
We finished soundcheck and waited for the show.
"Mate, you really miss her don't you?" Bondy asked me, I nodded "so why don't you call her?" He asked "we made a promise" i sighed "what promise?" He asked "that this was the last time, to see each other and call each other" i said he shook his head

- Lilly's pov
I lay on my bed,
Then matty popped into my mind.
I missed him too much, should i call him?
Fuck it, I'm calling.
"Hello?" He soon answered
"Hi it's Lilly" I said
"Lilly?" He asked "yeah" I whispered
"How are you?" He asked
"Doing shit what about you?" I asked
"Same to be honest with ya" he said with a small chuckle.
I swallowed remembering what he did when i left.
"I-I uh just, I'm sorry matty-" I started but he cut me off "what's wrong love?" He asked "I miss you" I said truthfully "I miss you too and honestly, I can't explain how sorry I am for what I did to you Lilly" he whispered
"Why didn't you call?" I whispered closing my eyes "what?" He asked
"Fuck! Why didn't you call!" I yelled
I needed him, and he needed me
But if he cared so much about me,
Why didn't he call to hear if I was alright?
"Cause I knew you wouldn't pick up when i called you" he said
I bit on my lip, "I'm sorry" I whispered
"I'm coming over" he said
"You what?" I asked
"I'm coming over Lilly, even if you don't want me too" he whispered

I woke up the next day by Anna.
"Lilly?" She said walking into my room
I opened my eyes lazy and looked at her "what?" I whispered
"Matty's here" she said
I sat up and shook my head "he's here?" I asked standing up slowly she nodded "did you know about this?" She asked I nodded
I quickly walked into the living room opening the door, I saw matty
He changed lots again.
"Hello love" he said with a wave
I hugged him "hey" I whispered
"God I missed you" he whispered
I closed my eyes and nodded
"Me too" I whispered
I sighed and pulled away
"Let's talk yeah?" I said he nodded
We walked into my apartment again and sat down,
After a few moments Anna walked in.
She looked shocked seeing matty after all those years.
She stood still.
We both looked at her,
"U-uh I-I'm j-" she started
"Hello" matty waved
"Hi" she whispered
"You alright love?" He asked
She nodded "happy as after" she whispered, i could see her eyes light up, was she happy to see matty again?
"That's good to hear love" he whispered
She nodded and walked back into er room.
I sighed and turned around to look at matty,
"Let's talk" he whispered
I nodded
"So, why did you do it?" I asked
"Do what?" He whispered
"Well using the same shit as my mom did, matty, she fuckin' died because of that shit, a couple days before i caught you using it" I sighed
He nodded
"I was addicted to it, but I guess I was just good at hiding it all the time, I'm clean now I swear, I needed to change and I'm sorry for what i did I didn't mean it" he said
I nodded "matty you mean too much too much for me, I can't let you go, I'm going to forgive you now honestly but it hurted me like hell, I need time to trust you again though" I said he nodded "fair enough right" he whispered
He stood up and hugged me
He lighted a cigarette and sat back down.
"So how are ya?" He asked
"Me and Van broke up for good, we promised to not see each other again, or look for each other anymore, so I'm doing like hell honestly" I whispered
He sighed "will you be okay?" He asked
"I hope so, i promised him"

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Hey guys how are ya?!
I had an accident yesterday, but I can't continue writing.
It just takes a bit longer.
Thank you for reading! Bye x