Van was standing there.
"Lilly can you come outside?" He asked
I looked at him
Was he drunk?
Was he crazy?
Was he missing me?
I quickly closed the window and run to my bedroom.
I lay on my bed closing my eyes
"Lilly!" I heard again
I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
After a couple minutes, it stopped
I thought he walked away.
I woke up the next morning, feeling sad.
"Lilly" Anna said walking into my room
"Yeah" I said in a morning voice
"Did you heard that yesterday?" she asked "what?" I groaned "someone yelled your name" she whispered
"Van" I whispered she looked at me
I sighed "it was Van" I said
"He was here?" She asked
"Yeah, I opened the window, I think he was drunk or some-" I started but she cut me off "ya didn't yo outside?" She asked I shook my head
She sighed and walked back
"You should've" she whispered
I got dressed for work and sighed
"Anna come on we are late!" I yelled
"Yeah yeah I'm coming mate!" She yells back
Minutes later she came running in the living room
"Ready" she whispered
We walked out of the building and walked to work "why didn't you go outside" she asked I shook my head
"Not planning on getting my head messed again" I whispered
She sighed
We walked into the record shop and sat down.
Work was boring, as usual
Time was going pretty fast
"I'm going home yeah?" I said to Anna "yeah mate" she whispered
I hugged her and walked outside feeling the cold wind hit me.
I sighed and walked fast.
In 10 minutes I arrived at the building I was living in.
I saw a tall figure standing next to the door smoking a cigarette.
"Van" I said walking closer
"Hello" he whispered
I swallowed and opened the door
He dropped the cigarette on the ground and walked in as well.
- van's pov
I walked in.
She hasn't changed for a bit.
I looked at her back, god I missed her even more then I thought.
"Lilly" I said, she walked into the lift and looked at me, I quickly got in and stood infront of her
"Go away van" she whispered
"Why Lilly?" I asked
She didn't want to talk to me, ouch
"I can't have you in my life anymore" she whispered I looked at her
"Lilly I just want to talk" I whispered
She looked at the ground
"Everytime I let you in again, my mind becomes a mess, and my heart breaks" she whispered looking at me
"Li-" I started but she cut me off
"I moved on" she said
My heart broke
Did she really moved on?
"W-what?" I spoke
"I have a boyfriend" she whispered
I didn't want to believe it,
"Y-you said you'd alway-" I started but she spoke up "I love you van, and I'll never forget you, but we both knew we just couldn't stay together, we both needed time and rest and-" she said but I cut her off "I always wanted you, I always want you" I whispered
"So that's it? We fight break up? Then don't see each other for a year then meet up and start again?" She said shaking her head "no i just want you in my life alright? I want to love you, kiss you, talk to you, call you up drunk, make love to you, have fucking kids with you and marry you, I want nothing else and I thought about you Lilly, I thought about us, and we were stupid cause arguments and fights are normal in a relationship, it makes it stronger" I said she closed her eyes
"I wasn't the one who left" she whispered
I got close to her
"Tell me you love me lilly" I whispered
She looked at me
"Tell me you want me"
"Tell me you need me"
She shook her head
The doors opened but I quickly clicked on another number
"I'm over you" she whispered
I couldn't talk, couldn't think.
She was over me.
"You don't me-" I started but she cut me off "how many times do I have to tell you that I'm over you!" she yelled
"So many times that you eventually start to believe it yourself!" I yelled back, a tear fell down her cheek
"Please Lilly, I just want to talk" I whispered
"One last time, the last time okay?" was all she said before the doors opened again.
She walked out.
"Last time" I whispered
The next morning I woke up in the hotel I was staying in.
I quickly showered and got dressed.
I did my best to look okay.
"Mate where are you goin?" Larry asked
"Lilly" I whispered
"Lilly?" He asked I nodded
"For the last time" I said
He sighed "mate, win her back" he whispered "I try my best" I whispered
I walked to her apartment and knocked.
"Coming" she said
She opened the door and saw me
"Let's go" she whispered closing the door behind her.
We walked in silence
When we stood in front of the bar across the street I opened the door for her and walked in.
We sat down.
I looked at her, she looked at me.
"Why did you want to meet up?" she asked
"Well, when I heard we were going to Liverpool again, I didn't know how to respond cause I knew that it was better to stay away, and when I saw you in this bar 2 nights ago, I just- my heart started beating vert fast and I didn't know what to do and I realized I couldn't stay away from you, but I saw that you had a guy on your side and i was a bit shocked by that, but didn't blame you, i didn't move on, I just couldn't, and now that your here in front of me again, I can't help but miss you lots and want you again" I explained
She sighed
"I missed you too Van, But you are the reason i get happy and unhappy, I have no idea when you'll leave or when I leave and that's confusing me, I just- we must move on van, I don't want to cause everytime you'll leave I still hope there's this little change we'll come together again, but I kinda moved on having a boyfriend and you should do the same" she whispered
I looked at her "I don't want to" I answered
She sighed "why van why can't you just move on?" She said
"Cause I love you more then anyone Lilly! I can't imagine a life without you!" I said she closed her eyes
"we promised each other this was the last time Van" she whispered
"I may be breaking that promise" I whispered
She shook her head "is he better then me? Does he makes you happier then me?" I asked she looked at me
"No one could ever make me happier then you do" she whispered
I grabbed her hand and hold it
"I want you to myself again" I whispered
"I'm gonna do this different this time, 2 years ago we started this and I can't imagine to stop and trow these 2 years of memories away" I said
"I've got a boyfriend va-" she started but I cut her off "do you love 'em more then me?" I asked she sighed,
She didn't answer
"I'm confused Van" she whispered
"Let's try" I whispered
I walked her home, she hold my hand the whole time, she wasn't lying when she said she was confused, I didn't mind her havin a boyfriend cause I knew she loved me more.
We stood in front of her apartment.
"Thank you for walking me home" she whispered "no worries love" I whispered we stood there akwardly
"Do you mind comin' in for a bit?" She asked I shook my head "pleasure" I whispered
We walked in, no one was there.
We stepped on the balcony.
Lighting our fags.
"So how was life when I was gone?" I asked
- Lilly's pov
"Just like always, cruel" I said
He nodded "when you sat in that bar 3 nights ago, was that ya boy?" He asked
I nodded, I wasn't going to tell him that he wasn't my boyfriend, "have you got any girls when I was away?" I asked
He shook his head "I couldn't stop thinkin bout you" he whispered
I closed my eyes leaning back
"I missed you so much van, words can't describe" I sighed
"Me too" he said
"So when are you leavin?" I asked
"Like next week, I'm going home" he whispered "not for tour?" I asked him
"No love" he said shaking his head
I nodded "where are you staying?" I asked "in a hotel nearby" he whispered
Van and I talked the night away until it was getting late "you have work tomorrow right?" He asked
"Yeah I have" I whispered
"I should go, get some sleep" he said with a smile
"Lilly?" He said
"Yeah?" I whispered
"You are happy right? Your gonna be happy with this life your living now right?" He asked I looked at the ground
"Promise me you'll be happy?" He whispered
"I promise"
He nodded and stood up, so did i.
We walked towards the front door
I opened it and looked at him
"It was nice to talk to you one last time van" I whispered
He nodded
"And Lilly?" He whispered, I looked at him "when you change your mind, please call me and I'll be here in front of your door" he whispered
I nodded
"Goodnight van" I whispered
"Goodnight love" he said
He walked down the hall.
I sighed and closed the door.
He was gone, out my life, and I didn't know if I'd liked the idea of that.
I called Oliver up.
"Hello?" He answered
"We need to talk" I whispered
"I see where this is going" he whispered
"I'm sorry" I whispered
-
-
Hey guys!
How are you?
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
