Hold on JackABoy

Chapter 5-The Resteraunt

Jack's POV

Once Mark turned off the camera my smile became less authentic than it already was. I looked down at my arms real quick to make sure my sleeves were in check and they were.
"You wanna go to dinner tonight?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by Marks question. I tapped my lip making a 'hmmmm' noise.
"Okie," I said and made a squinty eye smile.
"Cool we can leave in about a few hours there's this cool place in town I wanna show you!" He smiled and patted my shoulder as he walked out leaving me a lone. I looked around the room a few more times and decided to upload the video on Mark's channel, he had forgotten to when he walked out. I rewatched the video only fixated on Mark. Damn he's so cute. I felt the biggest smile creep on my face... Was I blushing oh jeez.. I hooked up the camera to the desktop and hit upload.
Once it had uploaded properly I stood up and walked to what was my room when walking my Marks room I saw him taking his shirt and blushed immediately speed rushing to my room before he could notice me.
I closed my door and took a deep breath.
"Calm down Jack." I sat on my bed and decided to check the video 'Mark' just uploaded.
It had many likes and some dislikes but that's ok.
I went into the comments which I know wouldn't be a good idea but when do I have those.
I came across ones like

'Septiplier 5 ever'
'Jack is so cute'
'I love jacks accent'

I couldn't help but smile and there's always the weird ones you don't understand
"What the hell is a bloody PROTIP?" I mutter myself giggling.
Then I stumbled across the bad ones.
'Jack is so ugly'

'Lol Septiplier more like pewdiplier Mark could never love as anyone as ugly as Jack'

'Why does Jack have to interrupt him God I'm on the channel for Mark not some phony Irish fuck up'

I felt myself stop breathing... my throat started closing up and my whole body got hot. My eyes got red and puffy and I didn't know what to do. I took my jumper off because I was over heating. I grasped handfuls of my hair while resting my elbows on my knees and trying to regulate my breathing. Some tears fell and I opened my eyes and looked down noticing the cuts on my arm that were healing from the other day. I played with them a bit calming down a little but not enough. I reached for my suitcase and grabbed the Altoids tin and opened pulling out the razor. I peeked my head out into the hall and ran right across the hall into the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it. I looked my self in the mirror and bit my lip so my sobs wouldn't echo
I put my arm out in front of me and I pulled the razor up to my arm. Slowly dragging the little piece of silver through my skin. I took a sharp inhale making a 'sssssssssssssss' sound and pulled away from my arm. It started to bead up really fast and the beads combined and started rolling down to my wrist into the white porcelain sink. I repeated this process on both arms 7 times and exhaled. Finally in control of my breathing and not my bleeding. I looked down and dropped the razor. There was so much blood.
There was a knock on the door.
"Jack you almost ready to go?"
"Shit," I whispered under my breath
"Yeah I just gotta wash up." I wasn't exactly lying I had to clean up my arms and the sink.
"Ok I'll meet you in the living room." I heard his shoes hit the floor all the way to the other room till I could hear him no longer.
I turned the water on and ran my arms under it wiping at the pinkish trails that had stained on my pale skin. It didn't feel good it sure as hell stung. About 3 minutes into washing my arms the water became clear again and not a dark pinkish tint so I turned it off and wiped up the blood on the sink flushing the toilet paper. Mark doesn't have a first aid kit..fuck I hope these don't open later. I sneak back to my room and put the razor back and grab my jumper putting it on while walking to the other room.
"Ready to go?" He said
I nodded and he smiled.
We walked out to his car and sped off to where ever he was taking me.
About 25 minutes into passenger seat and radio control we pulled up to this semi formal Italian restaurant.
We walk in and walk past a huge line of people holding those vibrators that tell you when it's your turn to be seated. Damn I know the thought was there but I don't want to be here too long....
"Table for Mark," he said
The seating guy lead us to a table in the back and we sat down. He called in a head of time. Wow fancy.
A waiter came over filling up or water glasses.
"What would you fine gentlemen like to drink?"

"Hmmmmmm I'll take the blue moon." Mark said as the balding waiter scribbled down in his pad.
"And for you sir," he looked down upon me it made me uncomfortable.
"Uhhmmm a anything on tap is fine," I looked down
The waiter walked away.
"You Irish and yer beers." Mark laughed. I watched as he laughed so cute as he turns as red as his hair and crinkles his nose.
"Your face is turning as red as your hair." I chuckled out. While we were constantly uttering mumbled up sentences the waiter came back with our drinks. He brought me a blue moon as well.
"What'll be gents?" The waiter asked
"Chicken parm!" I said maybe a little to excited.
"Mac and cheese" Mark smiled
The waiter looked at Mark a little Weird and carried on with his job.
"Wow so Italian Mark," I giggled out
"Hey shut up!" He almost yelled pointing his fork at me. I couldn't stop laughing. Some bread was brought out to us and I started pretending to put the bread in my jumper pocket which gained big laughs from Mark. Shortly after that our dinner was put upon us and we started eating, every time I moved my arm with my fork I felt the unpleasant feeling of the fabric running against my fresh cuts. I eventually thought I opened one up and excused myself to the toilets. I sat down in a stall pulled up my sleeves. They had been holding together quiet nicely and there was dried blood around them but overall none had opened. I returned to the Table where Mark had already paid the check I kinda felt bad but I had no american dollars just euros and a couple pounds.
I sat back down and held my wrapped up meal. I picked up one of the mints on the table and plopped it in my mouth instantly regretting it.
All of a sudden memories of Jeremy rushed through my head and the first time I had an Altoid mint and the razor blade in my Altoids container I made a choking noise and accidentally spit the mint out in front of Mark
"Jack?.." He said in a low concerned tone. A tear beginning to slide down my cheek I sped walked out of the place and ran to a bench a few hundred feet away. I sat there holding my mouth so I could muffle any sobs and tears kept rolling. I refused to look up but a figure hovering over me I knew it was Mark.
"Jack," he sounded out of breath.
"What's wrong buddy?" I shook my head still looking at my shoes and the concrete. He sat next to me and patted my back.
"It's ok let it out." he reassured me. About 5 minutes later I had no more tears though parts of my body still quaked so sat up.
"Ready to go?" I shook my head up and down.
He walked with me to the car and we got in. I still didn't want to look at him I was so embarrassed.
"Hey hey it's ok sometimes people just gotta let stuff out I understand." He put his arm on my shoulder one last time before starting the car.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head for no... but I should tell him....
He put his hand on the gear shift and I put my hand on it as to tell him to stop. I looked out the windshield still to afraid to look at him... Well to have him look at me I guess.
"I-I.." I had to take a breath
"It's ok take your time," he said
"I have PTSD, Mark-....I'm sorry I should of told you before I came. I take medication for it as well as some other things.. But sometimes I still get flashbacks. The flashback I had was very traumatic and I don't want to go into detail but it-it was about Jeremy." I took a deep inhale and closed my eyes.
"Hey hey it's ok Jack no worries I'm not mad. In fact I'm happy you told me, and I'm sorry about what you just went through. Let's go back to my place and how about we have a movie marathon?" He asked.
I nodded still looking out the windshield.
The ride home felt agonizingly longer than the drive there.
when we finally made it and we're about to walk into the door Mark pulled me into a surprise hug which was very much needed. I started to break down again. I melted in his arms and he helped me inside. We remained hugging even though it hurt my arms but I didn't care. I let go shortly after and he gave me a big reassuring smile.
"Get some comfy PJ's on we're gonna watch Star Wars!" He exclaimed and jumped off into is room. I did the same and came out in black PJ pants with Septiceye Sams going up and down them and a white shirt with black arms as I could only wear long sleeves now seeing as I fucked up. Mark and I sat on the same couch with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn. I must have dosed off on his shoulder or something because I remember a bunch of black but right before that my jaw laying on a hard squishy object.