Hold on JackABoy

Chapter 22- Don't Cry Baby

Jacks pov

I woke up out of the blue in a cold sweat gasping for air. I remove the moist blanket from me and look over at the clock. 5:58 am. I sighed knowing I wasn't going to get back to bed. I slowly crept towards the bathroom trying not to wake Bob. I slowly closed the door and slid down it, my back against the white wooden door and I sat firmly on the tile. It was cold against my bare feet. I had my knees up to my chest and my elbows rested upon them with my hands
clumped through my hair. I sighed. Pax was only for a few days and then there is this huge youtube after party. I only have to last a few days then I can go ho- to Mark's place and be with him and cuddle. I miss his warm body heat up against mine, his smooth tan skin resting against my cold pale skin. I pushed myself walking to the sink and opening the medicine cabinet. I took my PTSD meds and stripped down. I turned around so I wouldn't have to face myself in the mirror. I hopped in the shower, it was cold at first so I retreated to the back and then it warmed up. I stepped forward slightly and started my process. I grabbed the wrapped bar of soap and started rubbing it along my arms making a mental note of each scar I had felt; seeing all the thin white lines from over time. I then moved to my chest and torso looking at the ugly scar wrapping around half my waist from the car wreck. I closed my eyes and sighed once more. I decided to sit on the floor in the middle of the warm shower stream. I must've been in there for a while because not much later there was a knock.
"Jack are you ok? You've been in there for an hour." It was Mark, he was up now?
"Yeah sorry I lost track of time." I put my hand out to grab a bar and pull myself up and turn the tap off. I dried my self off and mentally face palmed myself.
"Fuck me" I whispered
"Guys?" I yelled through the door.
"Yeah" they all said one after another.
"Can someone bring my luggage to the door I seem to have forgot it..."
once Wade brought it i speedily grabbed it with my towel on and got ready. Once I was out I had noticed that everyone was ready and they were all just waiting on me.
"Bob didn't you want to shower?" I asked pointing backwards with my thumb and the steamy room behind me.
"Well I did but you were in there for a while so I used Mark and Wades." He chuckled.
"Oh sorry" I mumbled.
"Ready to go?" Mark said with a jump up off the counter and a clap of his hands.
"Yep!" I said. "Lemme just put my shoes on I'll meet you out at the uber" I watched them murmur and nod in agreement. I slipped on my shoes and we were off.
I hopped into the uber and buckled up. We started driving toward Pax. Once again Bob was in the front and it went me, Wade and Mark. I was upset because I had thought I'd at least be sitting next to Mark, but I guess I was wrong.
I felt my phone buzz and I pulled it out looking at it.

From Markiplier: Are you ok babe??

Sent to Markiplier: yeah i guess

From Markiplier: what's wrong :((

Sent to Markiplier: i...idk i just kinda thought we'd be rooming together...
From Markiplier: aww babe you should of spoken up :((
Sent to Markiplier: it would of looked weird if i wanted to spend all this time with you...
From Markiplier: its ok. I can ask if they wouldn't mind switching also i have to ask a question
Sent to Markiplier: nonono!!! dont please itll look werid i can wait 3 days
Sent to Markiplier: also shoot
From makiplier: you were in the bathroom for a long time this morning are you ok did you have a flash back did you.. yaknow
Sent to Markiplier: no i was in the shower and it was really warm so i sat down and lost track of time i'm ok
From Markiplier: ok i love you<3

"We're here!!" I heard Bob yell. As I looked up from my phone I looked at the huge crowds of people surrounding the building lining up. I felt my breath hitch and my heart beat pick up. What if they dont like me or I mess up or make a fool of myself or...
"You coming Jack?" Wade asked. I looked to see the 3 at my open door.
"Ye." Was all I could say.
I stepped out and followed behind as we went through the back. Stumbling though the halls. We met a manager who lead us to our room where we could get ready for our panel. Our panel was on the third day and we were only going today and the 3rd day. So tomorrow I can just relax.
"Ok so as you guys should know today you're set out on the floor meeting Fans, signing, all that jazz." The Manager said while walking us to our room. She showed us to a room with a mirror and chair in each corner for each of us. We had a specific closet where there were cosplay items. I sifted through the outfits until I decided to just decided to wear my clothes.
"Hey Jack I gotta go to the vending machine do you wanna come?" Mark said taping my shoulder twice. I know that's my signal when I'm having a flash back so I assume he needs to talk to me.
"Sure."  I said following him out of the room we took a left towards the vending machines but took a pit stop as he pulled me into the bathroom.
"Mark what are we doing here?" I ask he pulls me into the handicap stall.
"I wanna check you.." he said
"W-what?" I asked back
"I wanna check you." He said grabbing my wrist and slowly pulling it up looking me in the eyes as if he was asking if it was ok. I nodded.
He slowly pushed my sleeves up and flipped my arm front to back. All he could see was the old scars. I'm a little ashamed of myself for lying to him. I felt a tear drop. He pulled my head by lifting it with his thumb under my chin and wiped the tear streak away. "Don't cry baby. There is no reason." He gave me a sympathetic smile. I held them back. The tears I held them back for dear life. I cant let him know. I'm too far gone it'll hurt him. More than ever. Today is going to be so much harder than I thought.