Hold on JackABoy

Chapter 17- It's Ok

Jack's POV

I refuse to talk about last night.
It's 9:38 AM. I woke up at 7. Mark and I fell asleep last night after my episode. I slipped out of his grasp, trying not to wake him up. I went to the bathroom to escape, I looked at myself and cringed. I lifted up my shirt and looked at the huge scar on my torso. I took a shower and sat on the bathtub floor, crying. When I got out it was 8:45 and Mark was up. He informed me that he woke up about 45 minutes ago. He asked me if I was ok. He asked me about last night. I just said I was fine. I told him I was ok. It was just another flashback. He shrugged and started making breakfast. He handed me my plate and sat next to me at the table. Once again he asked if I was ok.
I pushed my plate away saying I was fine. I had stood up and walked out of the room. I went back to my bedroom and sat on my bed. Its now 9:38 and I'm alone in my room.
A knock catches my attention.
"Hey," Mark says. "Can I come in?" He asks.
I nod. He pulls the chair from the desk and sits in front of me.
"Jack...I need to talk to you.." I continue to nod.
"I just don't want you to get scarred or upset."
He pushes.
"Jack... I-I saw your arms." He stuttered out.
I felt my heart race and my chest clench up. I grabbed my clothes arm tugging my sleeve a little but mainly grasping my arm. I didn't blink. I didn't nod. I just looked past him and felt everything in slow motion. "Jack?" I was pulled out of my illusion and look him in the eyes.
"I'm sorry," was all I could push out.
"Nononono!" He said coming closer to me. "Jack It's-it's ok you don't have to apologize." He was now sitting in front of me on the bed.
"I don't know what else to say." I kept my gaze down.
"That's ok jack. But I was wondering. I uhhh I want to help you.. but I know... I know I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on so I can understand.." he was pushing to get me to talk but I could tell he wanted me to be comfortable.
"Ma-Mark I wouldn't know where to start.." I looked up from the bed pattern to shortly establish eye contact with him.
"That! That's ok!" He said a little too excited. "Just start from the beginning." He put his hand on my knee to let me know it's ok, I'm assuming.

"Well... ok." I sighed and closed my eyes.
"The day... the day I found out about Jeremy I went ballistic. I found out what he had been doing to himself...I...I did it to my self," I said gesturing to my arms. "It...it was like I was getting back at me. My mum overheard and took me to the hospital and they watched me overnight. Then the day I was discharged, my mum's boyfriend moved in... he really made her happy" I smiled so I wouldn't cry. "But he hated me and would often beat me or try to hurt me with words... I couldn't tell my mum cause he made her so so happy." I had started crying, and Mark started rubbing my knee.
"Its ok Jack. Take your time," Mark cooed.
"If Its ok me asking how often...how often do you h- how often do you harm your self?"
All I could do was shake my head and sob.
"Hey hey hey it's ok it's ok Jack.. ok?" I looked up to him and nodded. We sat like that for a while until it happened. He kissed me. His stubble hitting my semi beard. I kissed back. He put his hand on my cheek and I moved in motion with him and put my hand on his neck. We deepened the kiss and I don't know how he continued with it because all I could taste was salt from my tears. Our tongues moved in motion. We stopped for breathe and I felt him smile in the kiss. It was making me forget everything. I felt his cold hands on my chest under my shirt he was lifting up but I remembered my scars. I grabbed my shirt. "Ma-Mark," I said through the kiss. He pulled away. Both of us out of breath. "S-Sorry," he panted.
I kept looking down at the bed spread but I didn't know if he was trying to get my eye contact.
"I should.. I should go," Mark said getting up.
I didn't protest. I don't know why, but I didn't try to stop him from leaving the room.