what's left?

chapter 23: mistake?

Park Eun Wons pov

4 months later

still no communication with namjoon but defiantly with Lee Shin we text a lot never talk on the phone and we go to get coffee and stuff but i refuse to go to the park i don't like no not one bit he knows all about Kim Namjoon he isn't very fond of him but he knows i love him and he respects me enough to not try to be with me he knows the past cannot be fixed but he still likes me i can't control that but i wish he didn't he invited me to go watch a movie with him and get coffee so we will just get coffee at the movie theater i don't know what we are going to watch so it's just whatever looks good at the moment *phone buzzez*

lee shin: be ready at 6

i put on a flannel shirt jeans and flats and put my hair up i waited for 6 to come it was 4 right now i just laid on my bed and listened to music for about 2 hours it was 5:54 i looked out my window no one then i saw a blue car i went outside and there was lee shin in a black long sleeve looks like he cut his hair i got in he smiled and said "ready?" i said "yep" he said "alrighty letsa go" i laughed a little cause he sounded weird he drove all the way to the movies but on the way there i put my hand on the thingy in the middle between the passengers seat and the drivers seat  but when i put my hand there he put his there too our first fingers touched i got a fluttery feeling i quickly took my hand away and cleared my throat and and looked out the window i looked straight again completely avoiding eye contact with him he could see him looking at me in my peripheral vision he smiled then looked back at the road we stopped at the movie theater got down and bought tickets for a romance movie which was weird cause he hates chick flicks we bought coffee and went into the theater i kept touching my ring while i was watching the movie then this scene came up the female lead and the male went to a park and sat on the swings felt tears coming but i just kept repeating "don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry please stop don't fucking cry" eventually i didn't want to cry anymore the movie was over after about an hour we walked out of the place got in his car and he drove we didn't say a word the whole way he stopped at my house i said "thank you see you later" then walked to my door and opened it and went inside I heard his car leave after i got inside i went up to my room and laid on my bed i immediately bursted into tears i couldn't stop crying i went outside and got on my roof i looked up at the stars i took off my ring i held it up to the sky i was still crying a lot i said "Kim Namjoon how could you leave me just like that i love you pabo i love you so much and now....now i don't know what to do i want to wait but i don't know if i can please PLEASE come back already i can't...i don't want to be without you for long i can't i need you so bad i'm sorry for everything i shouldn't have gone with lee shin i shouldn't have gotten a weird feeling when we touched i love you and only you please come back please... i put my ring back on i looked to the side of me and for a second there i thought i saw him next to me looking at the stars i reached for his hand but before i touched him he disappeared... i need you namjoon but you don't need me