what's left?

chapter 24: still

Namjoon's pov

i've been really sad lately kind of the way i was was when young hwa left but worse cause well what me and Park Eun Won have is real and always will be i love her but i doubt she knows it i don't even know if we are still together honestly if we aren't im pretty sure she would just send back the ring or something or write a letter i hope that doesn't happen though anyways mark said he found a company i can go with but i'll have to audition and wait till they say i can go and audition and if they accept me i will be staying in korea and i will be a trainee for a long time they said they will be getting other people to be trainees with me and once we are good enough not to be trainees anymore we will be a group like bigbang but i honestly doubt we will be that successful they said i will have to wait another 6 months to audition and if i do get accepted i will be starting a whole new group there will be 7 of us so that puts a little bit of stress on me but im practicing all the time im practicing 2 hours a day everyday i really want to do this and knowing that this is my only chance i cant blow it dammit if i do this then Park Eun Won won't be able to see me as much i'll be busy all the time but this will take me back to korea and i won't have to worry about her but if i do become successful with this i won't be there often i'll be on tours and practicing i need to do this no matter what the risks are after a couple hours of thinking i just decided to walk around my neighborhood just to calm down a little bit as i was walking i saw marks car he pulled up next to me and said "hey namjoon your dad told me to tell you he will be at the studio late today so just get pizza tonight and his phone died and he will be home soon" i said "oh thanks mark" he said "no problem" he drove off i kept walking i put my hands in my pockets and got out my phone i plugged in my earbuds and put on music i put on park eun wons favorite group bigbang "if you" started to play its a nice but sad song as i was walking around i saw a little white puppy it looked really skinny but it was fluffy and cute i walked over to it and it looked kind of scared i squatted in front of it and put my hand out so it can get comfortable with me it let me pet it i picked it up and pet it more i checked what gender it was  it was a boy i named it what i wanted my stage name to be rap monster but for short i called him rap mon i took  him home and fed him i left him at my house and went to a store to get some dog food i got a big bag so it would last him a while i went back home and watched the dog for a while then i put him in my backyard so it wouldn't go to the restroom inside i left him out there over night i took a shower then went to bed 

next morning 

i woke up in tears i was shaking i remembered that i was only dreaming or i had a nightmare i dreamt  that i had gotten back to korea and i went to eun wons house but her mom opened the door then i asked her mom   where eun won was she said said that she moved out i asked if she knew the address she moved to she said she didn't know and that she hasn't seen her in months well not since she moved i said  "thank you" and walked away then i heard her mom say "wait!" i turned around walked back and her mom said "she left this i never opened it but here it might say something" i said "thank you" again and walked away i opened it it said "to whom ever reads this you will be reading this after i have left my parents house my name is park eun won please give this to a boy named Kim Namjoon knowing him he will come back and look for me" i quickly turned the page over it said "hi namjoon i miss you here is my new address" i put the paper in my pocket and drove over there i ran to the door and all i heard was "fuck off" from a man then i heard a whimper i kicked the door over and over till i got it open eventually i did all i saw was an open window....... and Park Eun won laying on the floor bleeding with bruises i bursted into tears picked her up and put her into my car i drove to the hospital and  they got her into the ER she was passed out cold they examined her body and the doctor kept me updated then i heard one of the doctors say "she has internal bleeding due to injury we need to get her into the OR now" my heart was racing the whole time they took her into the room and i waited there for 3 hours for her to get out they finally finished the doctor came over to me with a sorry face and said im so sorry for your loss" i just collapsed i fell in front of  everyone but i didn't care at all the doctor squatted in front of me  and stood me up when i was getting up i woke up from the nightmare... i need to get back to seoul now