what's left?

chapter 29: Lost

park eun wons pov:

i sat next to namjoon feeling welcomed yet out of place i was a bit sleepy and i already ate but i didn't want to be rude and just leave after a while of talking with everyone they just went and did their own thing but everyone was still on the couches as i was sitting there i lost myself in my own thoughts all i could think about was why lee shin was there and if he told namjoon anything i know namjoon and i are going to have to talk about what happened i know i will have to leave soon but i don't know when i can't let these boys get attached to me i have to leave before that happens i can't hurt anyone it might hurt namjoon but he just will have to move on but should i stay i mean they are nice enough to let me stay as long as needed and be so kind to someone they don't even know aish what should i do im so confused should i leave i don't want to get in the way of anything or distract anyone they need to concentrate on their music but if i leave that might distract them too i ugh i should just leave before anything happens i'll leave tomorrow night... when everyone is sleeping i'll catch a bus or something thy should sleep pretty early they never get a day off anyway so that means they get up early *namjoon taps on eun wons shoulder*

NJ: "what are you thinking about kid" *smiles*

oh nothing just a little tired that's all

NJ: "ah well we were all going to sleep we have a photo shoot tomorrow so we have to go early why don't you beat one of us to the shower and go to my room after your suitcases are in there i'll sleep on the mattress on the floor you can sleep on the bed"

okay thanks namjoon *manages a smile* oh uh where exactly is the bathroom

he laughs a little and says "2 doors down on your left"

okay thanks i get a towel and rush to the wash room i knock on the door to make sure i don't walk in on anybody i don't hear anything so i open the door i saw taehyung washing his hands i squeal and say "oh oh im sorry im sorry" i cover my eyes then quickly close the door i hear him laugh he walked out and said "don't worry it's not like you saw anything" then patted me on the back and walked away i run inside the restroom and exhale in relief i take a quick shower then i get out and wrap a towel around myself and then i panic cause i don't know where namjoons room is i quickly get my phone and text him

he said "2 doors down"

i say "make sure no one is near the restroom"

he said "okay i will"

i walk out and i saw namjoon waiting outside the restroom i backhanded his chest and said

"what the hell are you doing pervert!!"

he calmly said "what? you told me to make sure no one is near so i'm standing guard and by the way that hurt"

i said  "good and i said make sure i never said to stand guard perv!!!" 

i run to his room and lock the door quickly put on my pajamas and started to brush my hair some one knocks i say

"who is it"

it was namjoon i unlock the door and say

"what perv?"

he said "we have to talk about what happened over the year and why you ended up at the hospital"

i stayed quiet he sat behind me on his bed and took the brush from me and started brushing my hair he said

"what happened between you and lee shin when i was gone?" i said

"nothing he called me to the park asked me to take him back i obviously rejected him he texted me we became friends for a while he took me to an amusement park confessed his love for me and left me in the process of telling me he loved me we never talked again"

he said "why did you reject him?" i said

"because i'm still in love with you i can't date someone while i have feelings for another person and i couldn't not love you even if i wanted to"

he said "why did your parents kick you out?"

i said "because i was getting older and i needed to leave already"

he said "why did you end up in the hospital?"

i said "because i was depressed i was alone you left my parents couldn't care less about me and the only friend i thought i had when you left left too i had no one i wasn't eating i wasn't sleeping i barely moved that's why... wanna know anything else?" i walked out and went outside to get some fresh air jin and j hope were still up i guess they saw me walk out when i was about to open the door i felt a big hand grab my wrist i didn't turn around it was namjoon

he said "eun won... wait im sorry i shouldn't have asked so much questions you can ask me anything you want please just don't be mad"

i said "pabo let me go..." he was loosening up but didn't let go i roughly took my arm out of his hold and i walked out i went 2 blocks down and sat on a bench at a park about 10 minutes later i saw suga walk over to me he sat next to me and said "what happened" i said nothing he was just asking a lot of questions it made me think about a lot of stuff and i got overwhelmed but im okay he said "look noona namjoon really loves you he was really sad about you for a while and when he finally got the guts to see you he wouldn't shut up about you seriously he was ecstatic about seeing you he was like a little boy going to a candy store you are really pretty and kind and if there is anyone in this world that actually deserves your love it's namjoon okay" i hugged him he hugged me back i let go i said "i guess thats why they call you suga cause you're pale and sweet we both laughed he said "exactly now let's go home" we both got up i got in his car we drove to the dorm he texted namjoon that he found me namjoon came within 5 minutes he ran inside pulled me up from the couch and said "thank god you're okay i was so worried im so sorry please don't ever do that to me again you are not allowed to worry me anymore got it kid goddammit i nearly lost it" his hug was getting tighter i said "you have no reason to apologize namjoon i over reacted im sorry and you won't have to i'll always be right here i'm not leaving" he put his face on the top of my head and said "me neither..." i looked at suga and he smiled he smiled and gave me a thumbs up i mouthed "thank you" he briefly nodded then he stood up and went to bed we were alone namjoon let me go he took me by the shoulders and said "don't ever scare me like that again kid now let's go to bed i want to look decent tomorrow we both went to his room he slept on the mattress on the floor i slept on his bed i felt bad but i was shy i move alot in my sleep but it's final... i can't leave him or them