what's left?

chapter 35: story's

Dokyeom and I parked at my house we both got down he helped me with the stuff after we were done getting it all down i started cooking the ramen while he put it all away. 

he said "you know i was offended it took you that long to recognize me"

. i laughed and said "what you look so different i remember that little kid with big ears and funny hair" 

he said "hey my hair was cool and you didn't finish it" 

i said "finish what"  

he responded with "the rest of what i said and you fucking bought a tv shorty what the hell " 

i said "oh yeah that's how i knew it was you we always said that when i had to leave god those were good times but okay lets try again and yeah i needed one i just moved in" 

he said "till next time shorty" 

i said "we will meet again lanky" and we both saluted and then bursted into laughter.

 he said "oh my god that just brought back so many memories" 

i said "yeah i know anyways so how have you been it has been so long" 

he said "well alot has happened honestly" the ramen was ready he sat down and i put his ramen down and sat in front of him 

he said "hey tell me something why haven't you grown at all" 

i said "yah lanky im not you i dont have tree trunks for legs and branches for arms" 

he said laughed and said "i missed that name but i hate it anyways so why did you stop visiting" 

i said "cause my parents didn't want to and no matter how much i begged they said no a year later my mom gave me her old car that's the one im driving now but they wouldn't let me go alone so we just stopped going im really sorry about that by the way" 

he said "no it's okay i knew i was gong to run into you sooner or later but why did you come back?

 i said "uh well that's kind of a long story"

 he said "i got time" as he slurpped his last noodles i took his bowl and put it in the sink along with mine we sat on the couch both sitting crisscross just like we would when we were younger. 

"okay, tell. me. everything." he said in a girly voice i laughed and started my story 

"so remember that guy i would tell you about in the 8th and junior year?" 

he said "yeah lee shit what about him" 

"okay well we dated up till the end of senior year one day he called me to the place he would play basketball in the morning and well broke up with me said he lost interest okay well the same day after school i went to the near by park sat on the swing cried and then a really nice boy came up gave me his jacket while i was crying he sat on the swing next to me and i tried giving it back but he just put it back around me i stopped crying and he asked why i was crying i told him he told me the girl he once loved basically did the same thing he asked my name i said it i asked his he said it well we became really good friends he was my only friend really i just hated going to school there cause i didn't have you there anyways i started to get feelings for him at that time i didn't know if he liked me so i just didn't say anything well the day i met him i went back home to see my dad hitting my mom i was late so he hit me too well later everything was going good at home school and with him well i tried something i tried to take my own life cause well i didn't want to see everything go to shit again my mom found me already unconscious im guessing that day is a blur well i woke up and he was right there holding my hand as soon as i tightened my hand around his he just hugged me like there was no tomorrow i hugged him back confused not knowing why i was still alive i was crying then looked at him he was crying he said he loved me i said i loved him too we got out and he took me home my mom had to lie to my dad and say i went on a school trip for a couple of days i didn't care but then she told me not to contact him anymore i was pissed but even if she yelled at me to stop i would still talk to him okay im gonna skip ahead now okay so one day he took me out on a date he took me shopping and bought me a beautiful dress and some heals then we went to a suit store i picked a couple for him we finally chose one went back to his house i met his dad we got changed into out new clothes his dad took pictures of us and then we went to a fancy restaurant before we ordered anything he whispered to the waiter i asked what it was about ti said "just know that i love you" then balloons came raining down in my favorite colors he pulled out a bouquet of my favorite type of flowers the waiter poured us some champagne then he kneeled he gave me a really beautiful lovey speech i dont wanna say it cause if i do might actually cry so again skipping ahead well he told me he had to leave to america the timing is kinda off but my memory isn't the best anyways he had to leave to america oh yeah this was before the date it was when i wake up in the hospital okay anyways that was that well the day he left i went to the airport i ran to his plane he saw me he ran off of his plane and ran to me he just kissed me it was a passionate kiss it was amazing i felt safe and well sad but he left i was sad he wrote to me for a while i only wrote back once well i moved out of my moms went to another house well while he was gone a couple months later lee shin called me to the park tried making moved i told him off we became friends we went places like everyday well one day he took me to an amusement park confessed his feelings to me while also leaving me as a friend i became depressed i didn't eat it was hard to sleep to i just stopped that went on for a while i laid under my bed and well it was about a whole year i was depressed i ate a little something here and there i stopped going out i stayed home 24/7 well one day i decided ti turn on the tv there was a new boy group they made debut last year the group is called "bts" well the guy whom i have loved for a very long time is now in that group i knew it was him when i heard his voice he has a real talent and i am proud of him for doing this well i turned off the tv cause for 1 i was crying and 2 i wasn't feeling good i just passed out i woke up in the hospital i thought it was just a dream but it wasn't he was there right by my side again the doctor said i had to stay with him for a while so he can make sure i eat and sleep well. well i had no choice so i went with him stayed at his dorm with him and his members they were all nice to me then after i took a shower i went to his room to change and he walked i while i was brushing my hair he took the brush and brushed my hair he asked what happened while he was gone why i ended up at the hospital i told him everything well we went to sleep he slept on the floor i slept on his bed i wokeup he was gone he and his group had things to do i cleaned up their dorm cause it was a train wreck well that same day i decided to leave because well i was only holding him back and well i knew he was going to leave me i love him and i miss him  more than anything but i was afraid of hurting him i really truly love him i am afraid i always will i really love that man but he needs to focus on him not on me i hated leaving but i had to i love him and if i love him well i have to look out for him too and this was the best thing to do i love him the ring he gave me on out date i never let it go you see it's his initials and the date his name is kim namjoon he has the same one but with my initials i miss him terribly but i can't go back to him now i love him so much god im such an idiot well anyways i packed my crap left sold everything i owned for money well extra after i moved out my parents still send me money lee shin came to my house for some reason he said he is going to the military because he needed to find his way or something like that i told him i was leaving too well we talked he left i finished selling well the day of my departure came in the morning one of the members texted me saying for me to go over to say goodbye but namjoon wasn't there i trusted him and went i said goodbye to everyone and well guess what on of the other members was in love with me he cried his heart out me well i left and i only had 10 minutes till my flight left i raced back got my luggage asked lee shin to pick me up he was got there really fast got my luggage and raced to the air port he walked me to the front of the air port he said goodbye i said goodbye well i fucking missed my flight so here i am" 

he said "okay wow you have an amazing memory and wow that's crazy man and wow..." 

i said "yeah heh" i started crying i have no idea why i just did dok just hugged me and petted my head all i could think was "im so stupid i love him and i left my only chance at love i love him so much i hope he knows my heart and soul are still with him" so i just said it dok hugged me even tighter 

he said "yah hajima stop crying shorty" he kissed me on the head like he used to like in a brotherly way 

i eventually stopped crying he let go i laughed and said "sooo anyway tell me about you" 

he said "whale i dated a couple of girls they all broke up with me it wasn't anything serious lived here me whole life still visit me parents i work in a boring office i live not to far from here noe so yeah me life is pretty boring" 

i said " you have been talking like that since we were kids dok" 

he said "HEY remember when you bit that kid in daycare" 

i said "OH YEAHHHH but he stole my crayons leave me alone and i wouldn't be talking you pushed a kid down the rock climbing thing" 

he said "what he said i had a big head" 

we both laughed and said "remember when" in unison 

i said "you go" 

he said "remember when we went to the mall in like 7th grade and we maxed out my dads card and we could barely carry all the crap we bought" 

i said "dude i still have most of that crap" 

he said "same" 

i said "remember when we went to eat korean BBQ and we ordered a plate for like 5 people and just the two of use finished it all" 

we kept on remembering and telling each other what we remembered it got late i said he could just crash here if he wanted it said "sure"  he went back to his place to go get clothes he came back i was already showered and dressed he came back in and he sat next me i looked at him he looked at me

 i said "you thinking what i'm thinking"

he said "stay up all night and day and do everything we can with no sleep and have a drama marathon  like the old days?"

i said "hell yeah go take a shower i have netflix and hulu we can watch em on there hurry go go go go" he ran to the shower 

he came out and said "so which drama is it today?" i said "mmmm how about my love from another star i heard really good things about this one" 

he said "good enough lets go oh wait hold on  brought 6 can of red bull and popcorn" he ran back to my room where he left his bag and got everything he cooked the popcorn and gave me a redbull he put the pop corn in the middle of us and we opened out redbull at the same time i started the drama 

skip ahead

it was the end of the day we were both exhausted he helped me buy decorations and we just walked around the mall like we used to ate played video games in the game stores we went back to my place at like 11 at night so tired 

he said "i feel old now we used to do this no problem" 

i said "yeah me too"

 he slept on the couch i slept on the floor i just piled blankets we fell asleep no problem we woke up in the morning i cooked breakfast and he left to work we said we would meet up soon but when he left i had to start looking for a job.