what's left?

chapter 27: No one (mixed pov)

park eun wons pov:

 1 month later

i haven't eaten in days i haven't moved from here i only get up to use the restroom them i come back to my bed but i don't lay on it i lay under it seeing the sunlight... it seems like it's too.... how do i say it it seems too real kind of like if i see it it's like there are signs that things will get better and i can't get my hopes up again... never again everyday i think he will magically come knocking at my door but... of course i was being delusional he's not coming back and when he does he will have forgotten me and be with another girl i don't blame him I'm easily forgotten I've been very weak obviously because i almost never move and i haven't eaten but there is one thing and one thing only that mad me like this... i have nobody i am all alone not even my parents are here for me most parents call their kids if they haven't called in days but no mine kicked me out and now have no idea whether im okay nor do they care i have no friends the only one i thought i had confessed his love then left the other one well he wasn't my friend because i loved him he was... he was my best friend and well he left too i am all alone why is this my life what did i ever do cause i don't know i am currently still under my bed but i can see the TV i have in my room i watch it sometimes not often only when i think about my parents so guess i should right now i turned on my TV and it was already on my favorite channel it just shows a bunch of the biggest MVs out right now and new groups that have debuted they are showing "history- dreamer" they're pretty good i guess I'd listen to them then video ended now they are talking about some new hot boy group named "BTS" the song is called "no more dream" oh wow they are actually really cool oh wow these guys are really handsome okay their names are coming up the first one is "rap monster" he looks like...no never mind can't be but he is  very very handsome oh my gosh the other one "jin" he is like gorgeous and "jimin" is cute he looks like a little puppy and "j-hope" is really pretty too and "v" is handsome and "suga" is a cute name and he is cute too oh my god "jungkook" looks like he's younger than me he looks like a baby oh my god rap monster is like really handsome he reminds me of him for some reason they re so good and really cool i think suga was his name he is really good at rapping i thought he would sing with a name like suga now its rap monsters part god he's handsome and amazing at rapping wait... tha...that's..his...that's...that voice his lips.... that's... Namjoon... Kim Namjoon i started to cry i wiped my tears sat up i said "yah pabo you made it i knew you could do it I'm proud of you and I'm sure your father is too i turned off the TV and i went back under my bed i got you know sad again i guess seeing him again reminded me that I'm alone... i fell asleep my body weak and i was dizzy

namjoon's pov:

i felt like shit cause i didn't go see her when i was supposed to but i couldn't i was scared of my nightmare i was nervous to see her again but I'm going today okay I'm at her moms house i ring the door bell her dad answers i take a deep breath and ask for park eun won he said she moved out and he was about to close the door my heart started to race i said "wait!" he said "what" i asked if he knew where he called her mom over she gave me a little paper she said "i haven't read it yet" i said "thank you" i walked to my car and opened it my heart was still racing but worse now i immediately opened the paper up it said "hi Kim Namjoon i know my parents don't care enough to open this and you will most likely come looking for me if you do come back if you don't that's fine.. but here's my address..." my heart race slowed down a bit cause the paper didn't say exactly what it said in my nightmare... i drove over there as fast as i could she lived in a semi big house i reached to the back and got the white roses i bought for her i walked up to the door and knocked i was waiting for a bit i tried the door knob i know that's rude but i couldn't wait to see her again i finally built up the guts to go see her it was open i closed the door behind me i quietly walked in and said "park eun won" no response i said it again ust a little louder then i started to worry a bit i started walking around to see if she was taking a nap or something i knew she was home cause her keys were on her table i checked the living room couches i checked what was the guest room im guessing... nothing then i walked into a room with a bunch of black and white paintings she always likes things like that i saw her bed i looked around then i lifted up the covers from covering under her bed my heart skipped a beat my thoughts were all clustered in my head my heart dropped as i couldn't help but break into tears she was unconscious on the floor skinny and pale i dragged her out and carried her i sat in the bath tub and put her in front of me i turned on the cold water i kept on lightly tapping her face repeating her full name over and over and over my other hand was holding hers i said "don't do this to me come on please come one wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up come on" i got my phone from the floor of the bathroom and called 119 i said what happened they came within 10 minutes they ran in i got up and carried her i walked to the living room where the gurney was i put her on there the people strapped her in one stayed with me he asked "how did you find her?" i said "i was looking for her so i could see her for the first time in a year i was going to surprise her with flowers i looked around the house for her then i walked into her room i looked under the bed and there she was unconscious in baggy clothes" he said "ah i see so if i may ask why was she all soaked?" i responded quietly cause i felt like crying again i said "because i dragged her out from under the bed and carried her to the bath tub i sat behind her while i turned on the cold water and tried to wake her up he said " alright that's all well I'm headed to the hospital you need a ride there?" i said no it's okay I'll just drive there thank you though i appreciate it" he said alright well i appreciate the cooperation" i said "no problem" he left i stayed i walked around her house wondering what happened i went into her room i looked at all the black and white art then i looked on top of her desk i saw the Polaroid picture of us when we went on our date i picked it up and then put it down i started to cry again i put it down and looked up i sniffled and sat on her bed i buried my face on my hand and cried more and more i thought to myself "get our shit together dumb ass she needs you stop crying stop fucking crying" i stood up  grabbed a pair of her jeans and a tee shirt and a pair of converse i jogged to my car and drove to the hospital i asked for her they told my the room i ran up there when i walked in there was already another guy we made eye contact for a couple seconds i thought to my self "who the hell is he?" he broke eye contact with me and looked at her again i walked over to the bed and pulled up a chair i took her hand in both of mine her long thin fingers rested against my quivering lips she was sleeping me and the other guy didn't say a word the nurse came in i looked up and said "what happened? will she wake up? is she okay?" the nurse said "she passed out because she didn't eat for over a week she will wake up probably tomorrow and yes she is okay" then she said "and her parents aren't able to come can one of you take her home?" me and the other guy looked at each other he said "yeah.. he will" my eyes widened a bit she said okay I'll come back in in a while we said thank you he looked back at her so did i he said "you're Namjoon right?" i said "yeah... lee shin right?" he said "yeah" i asked "are you guys dating?" he said "no she loves you too much" i said "well how was she you know when you saw her" he said "she always seemed a little off but i always knew why i guess you heard about me right the guy who broke her heart" i said "yeah heard the first day her and i met" he said "take care of her please" then he walked out i watched him leave i stayed there all night nurses came in and out checking on her I.V's and her temperature i fell asleep on the couch in the hospital room i woke up in the morning she was still sleeping some of the color came back in her face it wasn't until about an hour later jungkook called me he asked me what happened and where i was i told him he said to come back soon i said okay i hung up another 5 hours past i was holding her hand the whole time her thumb moved i looked up at her her eyes were barely opening she looked around i guess it was a little blurry i heard her mumble some thing

eun won: where am i is this a dream i can't see it's all blurry 

NJ: she looked to her left where i was

eun won: who is... no this is a dream it's not him

NJ: i stood up and hugged her she said

eun won: no it's a dream he isn't coming back wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up he isn't here

NJ: i let her go i grabber her by the shoulders and said "park eun won its me im here you're awake i came back i grabbed the white flowers beside her bed and said "see im here i got there for you i came back early for you im back she said get the nurse i got up ran and got a nurse she rushed over and said "oh you're awake goody i just have to take you're temperature then you can go" i stood on the side and looked at her she looked confused and sad she nurse called me outside and said "please take care of her she wasn't eating and she barely slept these are classic signs of depression take care of her make sure she eats please and sign these and you can take her out of her i signed them smiled said "thank you" then walked back in she was sitting on her bed and putting on her shoes she turned around and said "take my home" she stood up and walked out i followed i walked over to my car i noticed she was holding the flowers she got in then i got in we didn't speak the ride there once we got there she told me to get down so i did we went inside i waited in her living room