In His Eyes

14|A Southern Feel to It

     “I haven't given much thought on how things would work out, After those ridiculous decisions and crazy circumstances that's been happening lately”

     “It was like I was in a constant wave of inertia, signalling back and forth for an undecided objective”

In the quietness, Tom told himself as they passed from one glass building to another. The night sky was now vanishing as dawn came through. yellow—orange clouds doing the celestial dance in a once dimly lit sky that could always inspire the field of artist in one look.

He wasn't much of a dreamer anyways, Tom told himself. The cliché and cringe—worthy idea of painting, writing poems and other time wasting activities was not on his bucket list. He fancied them in a way of saying thank you, but nothing was ever good enough to capture his attention that could change him into being a patron of the arts.

He always had the idea of realism and practical thinking for most of his life, It only betrays him when a single, unfamiliar beat of his heart begins to envelope someone. He was like that and there was nothing he could do about it. As hard as he tried, It always came back to his stupid choice of men.

Not too ugly, not too tall and able to stand on his own two feet was his idle type without as second guessing what there personality are like. Much like the man he was in the car with. It always happens, he forgets who he is for the sake of a temporary and quickly diminishing high.

     “Are you cold? I have a jacket in the back” Robert insisted, mentally awakening him from the stale car ride. He felt the air conditioning consuming his skin but it was nothing compared to New York weather in winter.

     “I'm alright, I think I'll manage” He answered politely, turning his attention back into the road.

Tom was busy looking at road when he caught Robert by accident, his welcoming brown eyes retreating in the process. He couldn't help but smile to himself, Robert was an old man. Late 30's to be precise, and yet he still had this hidden, unprecedented charisma that was always lurking inside of him and everything he does.

The way he smiles, the way he walks and the way he makes you feel like your the only person in the room. The only option.

It's a shame that his feelings for him aren't as developed as he hoped. A couple of nights ago, he was sure that a guy like Robert was just what he needed. Someone independent, entitled and well—accomplished. Guess things hadn't worked out that way also.

A minute has passed, It seems as Robert asked another one.

     “Are you hungry? We could go stop by—”

     “—I said I'm fine. If I am cold then I'll wear a jacket, If I am hungry then I'll go tell you. Are we done?” Tom spoke, his voice becoming more harsher by the second. There was this flare in his stomach, not because he was starving.

Because there was something hate consuming inside of him. And he was getting dangerously close to the breaking point.

He took one look towards Robert and It looked like he couldn't explain him actions. His eyes were towards the road but he looked like he was in a state of catatonia. A few harsh breathing here and there was nothing compared to what his eyes saw.

     “Okay” He finished in one word as he gripped the steering wheel. The veins on his hands made themselves richer in volume as he was strangling a body.

He was being an asshole and he knew it, Why? That he couldn't quite answer as nothing but deep and heavy breathing was the only sound present in the car. It was so weird, a little while ago he smiled at his lover and next he was scolding him for being to caring.