In His Eyes

27|Madness and Melancholy

     "You can't marry him, Nikolaj. He'll kill you—"

     "—I'm already dead, Soarsia! If I don't marry him, I'll die and if I do, I'll die anyways so there's no point to any of these" I yelled back, watching her with cautious eyes. It was the truth, either way, I was slowly wasting away in this place and the only thing that could slow that down is if I actually thought nothing's change. Like the old days.

     "You can fight" she hissed back, giving a step forward. "I know where they keep their arsenals and you can have revenge and I will help you, all you have to do is say the word, Nikolaj—"

     "—No!!! I'm tired of fighting" I said as tears rolled from my cheeks. "Everyone I love is in danger and if I oppose to anything Hagen wants, he will kill them including you" I said, hoping she'd understand.

     "The playing field isn't even, not anymore. And look at me, Soarsia. Do you really think I can get out of this place alive?!"

It became silent for a few second; all I could hear was the small gust of wind outside the walls that confines us. "When this household got massacred, I hid in the basement and heard the storms of bullet raining down on the house. And constant and terrorizing screams of the people I knew. When it was over, I left the basement and saw your mother lying on the floor with a pool of blood. I ran to her and last she said me was Hagen's name, like she wanted me to warn you about him. I left her and ran to the bay and that's when I saw your ship blew up"

     "Why are you telling me this" I asked, my eyes glassy. All those memories came flooding back in me with dangerous intensity that I was stunned by the sound of her words.

Soarsia looked at me. From the dull and tired eyes that watched me, It was replaced with burning rage "Because I want revenge but only if you want it. Don't you see?! Hagen killed your mother! Don't you want to avenge her? He killed her and your marrying him?! On what world is that considered normal?" She screamed and I was beginning to lose sight of things. I suddenly felt dizzy, like my surroundings were shifting to this grave realization. I know Hagen did something's but that fact I heard Soarsia say those words is unacceptable.

I didn't noticed I was tearing up a second longer, Soarsia was a mixed look of rage and pity. Hell, anybody in my situation would look at me with pity.

"Have you made your choice?" Soarsia said, hoping I would bite. It didn't take much anyways, I was already on my road to revenge and all I had to do was nod and we would start.

                                                                              — & —

     As the air went still for a moment and the cold, harsh wind seize to float. I knew it was the perfect moment for my plan. No, I am not going to kill him. Instead, I'll just disappear once more. Soarsia aided her assistance and I was happier than ever to use her to my advantage.

I knew escaping on this island was futile. And killing Hagen was a suicide mission. I wanted revenge, but what good is it if I was dead? I want to enjoy killing him without harming myself or anyone else. I was collateral damage; I'll end up hurting someone one way or another.

The moonlight glistens over the silver and gold furniture of the house. Each second made me more anticipate what was more to come. It was a Thursday, meaning Hagen would be back from his trip and that the guards that flooded the house would lessen knowing there boss was here.

     "You're back" I said to him, sounding all nice and happy, "I missed you"

     Hagen, setting down his briefcase came to greet me with a kiss, holding me by my waist and letting the time pass us by. "I love you, Nikolaj" He said, words that didn't matter to me anymore. "I love you too" I smiled thinly.