Forever Yours, Elliot

Chapter 29 - Time to Breath

The nurse turned around and rifled through a drawer. I cursed everything in my head. Why was this happening? Was I really that much of a bad person I deserved to have all this drama thrown at me. Then suddenly I realised. If I was pregnant, there was no guarantee it was Matts. I felt sick with the realisation. My palms began to feel clammy, as my head began to spin and heart began to race.

“Miss Andrews, I’ll need a urine sample, the bathrooms are just down the hall” the nurse said holding out a small pottle to me. I took it, my hands visibly shaking, the nurse took my  hand between hers and said softly

“Its alright Miss Andrews, just breath”

I smiled and nodded, wishing it was alright, wishing that this wasn’t happening; because that would be the only way it would be alright. I walked from the cubicle and headed to the bathroom. I filled the cup with ease, then returned to the nurse. She took a few minutes to do the test and then placed it on a paper towel in front of me to look at.

I closed my eyes before I looked. When I opened them again and looked at the white stick, I realised I didn’t actually know how to read the test. There was two lines though, and something told me that two lines meant positive.

“Miss Andrews, you’re pregnant” She said softly, her hand came to rest on my shoulder. I slumped into the chair as the news sunk in. My mind mentally going over the last two weeks with Matt. The only time we’d been reckless was the night Adam had…. I felt sick again. I’d been given a morning after pill at the hospital, but it obviously hadn’t worked.

The nurse told me to hang around for the doctor, because there were things I would need to know. I shook my head, to stunned to absorb anything further, she nodded and handed me a piece of paper, I glanced at it briefly, it was a script for prenatal vitamins. Frustrated I shoved the script in to my pocket and walked out of the room.

I walked back in to the waiting room and paid at the counter. I felt Matt Stand beside me, his hand gently rested against the small of my back. I wanted to shrug his hands away and run until none of this was happening any more. We walked from the doctors office and Matt said finally

“Well?”

I shrugged and said something about being fine and needing to drink more water. Truth be told, I didn’t know what to say to him, how to tell him. I couldn’t see a way out of this and telling him meant it was real.

When we got home the others had left, which I felt relieved about. I had the sinking feeling my company was going to be about as good as a plank of wood for the near future.

I ran upstairs and in to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me, eager to be alone for a few minutes. I walked over to the mirror and stared at my reflection, only I felt like I was looking at a stranger. Unable to keep back my emotions I sank to the floor, hung my head in my hands and cried. It wasn’t long before Matt knocked on the door, I could hear him asking if I was okay. But I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. Instead I willed to wake up from the nightmare I was currently in.

Eventually I got up off the bathroom floor, my emotions were spent, and I felt numb.

I turned the cold tap on and splashed my face to try and bring myself back to reality, only it didn’t work. I pat my face dry and opened the bathroom door. I walked across to my bedroom and slumped on to my bed. My thoughts were to jumbled to think clearly. Could I raise a child? Could I raise a child conceived on such a horrific night, could I raise a child who was the product of rape? The thoughts alone caused me to become overwhelmed with nausea, I leapt up from the bed and ran out my bedroom door. But before I could run through to the bathroom, I crashed in to Matt.