I'm Happy If You Are

Trust

Chapter 9:

I jump down onto my floor and an immedite banging is heard from downstairs.

I walk down the stairs and see Grey banging loudly on the back door. 

"Stop banging on the door," I yell as I decend the stairs. He leans his forhead against the glass and closes his eyes. My bags and shoes were laid beside him. I watch his chest rise and slowly fall. I saw the way his chest was outlined when he inhaled and the way his muscles flexed when he almost started to fall over, but he still remained against the glass with his eyes closed. 

He slowly opens his eyes and looks at me without moving. I open the door and he steps in clutching my bags. 

I take my things from him and throw them to the couch and sit beside them. "Why are you here?" I ask raising my eyebrow. 

He shook his head and stared at the ground awkwardly. "I just, I just saw your legs dangling and I didn't know what was wrong. I'm not as coldhearted as you think, I am going to help somone dangling from the roof of their garage," he says and walks over slowly to the end table beside me.

So I'm just a person now?

"Look, I know I'm confusing the hell out of you. I'm doing the same to myself. I just want to say, I'm sorry for my outburst in the library and all is forgiven. I'm sorry and you're right, I built the reputation for myself. I cannot expect you to think of me any other way," he said looking at me sincerely. 

He really meant this. He really is sorry.

My mind is spinning and I cannot think of anything at the moment. I am sitting there stupidly without an answer for him, just staring at him. Say something, Kerri, anything.

"Okay." Wow, am I stupid. 

"I know it's a lot to digest. I'll give you some time to think it over. I am not asking you to trust me or be with me. I just want to start over, be friends. I'll talk to you later?" he says with a simple smile, no smirk, just a smile. 

I nodded," yeah." I let out a deep breath as I watched him disappear into the kitchen. Once I hear the door unlock and then shut I rub my hands over my face.

He couldn't mean it, not sincerely. He's not one to be caring or sweet. Maybe he is, I don't know. If he is being sincere I have literally just broke a bad boy.

I run upstairs with my bags in my hands and my shoe laces in my mouth, holding the shoes below them. How.. attractive? I throw my stuff down and look to my bedside table. 

There they are, my keys. I am such an idiot sometimes. 

I grab my phone and lay in my floor beside my perfectly good bed. I still prefer the floor. 

6:38

I cannot believe that I was outside for over an hour almost two hours. I decide to call Lucas. I dial his number and no answer. He always picks up.

I try again.

"Leave your message after the beep."

The tone rang and I spoke," Lucas, I need to talk to you immediately. It's important. Please call me back." I let out a long breath and laid my phone beside me. 

I want to trust him. I need to give myself time before jumping into this, I need to wait and let myself have time to think about it.

As I lay in the floor picking at the small strings of carpet I grab my phone and try his number again.

He picks up this time. "What's wrong, Kerri?" His tone is laced with irritation. 

"Are you okay Lucas?" I ask worriedly. I hope he's not mad at me for calling. He told me to call him when I got home.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that I'm in dinner with my family and it's important," he whispered, clearly annoyed that I had called him. 

"Well you told me to call you when I got home."

"Two hours ago..." he trailed off. I could only see him rolling his eyes. 

"Fine. I've got to go." 

He hung up after that without a goodbye.

I threw my phone on my bed and laid back in the floor. 

He coudn't just talk to me. Their family dinners usually end up in a fight. How could he even want to attend a family dinner? McKenna came home for some reason, maybe she has something important to tell Lucas.

I let Lucas and his problems slip my mind and get up on my bed. Picking up my phone I go to Grey's message and the call log to where he had called me. 

I wonder if he actually cares. If he does, what does that mean? I can't keep him waiting forever. I have to make up my mind. 

Believe him and possibly get hurt or not believe him and maybe miss out on being with him. I think I need more than a small speech to trust him and believe him. I text him hey and go downstairs when my mom shuts the front door.

"Why do you look like that?" my mom questions with a worried expression.

I pull some chinese take out out of the bag. "You made me mother." 

She smiles," no you look stressed and upset. Like you're in deep thought. You had a frown on your face when you walked in here."

I shake my head no and grab a fork from the drawer behind my mom. She watched me walk out of the kitchen as I stuck the fork in my mouth to get the box open that held my sweet and sour chicken.

I watch as Hannah eats her food and turns on the television. I walked upstairs and shut my door before setting my food down and checking my phone.

My heart sinks when I find that he hasn't responded yet. If he wants to be friends then he really has to start replying. 

I sit in my room for about ten minutes, staring at my phone trying to decide whether I should call him or not. If I find that I don't trust him and I end up not wanting to trust him then he will get upset and think I wanted to trust him. If I don't call him he may get the idea that I don't want to talk, when I do. 

"Screw it." I dial his number and put the phone to my ear.