I'm Happy If You Are

Simple Silence and Single Tears

Chapter 38:

(Kerri's POV)

"Grey!" I yell as I close the door behind me," I am soaking wet, I want to go to bed, and I want my fucking phone."

I sigh and turn the corner.

"Not to mention it's two in the morning!" I add loudly.

Silence is all I am returned. I am going to kill him.

I make it back to the living room where we were and I curl up in a ball beside the fire. Since its winter and all... it's fucking cold.

"Grey, please," I yell again.

I hear footsteps down the hall and I stand up, wrapping his blanket around my water dripping body.

The blanket smelled like him. Like his cologne.

His smirk comes around the corner but slowly fades.

"What the hell was that?!" I scream at him through my shivers.

He notices how upset and cold I am and throws the phone on the couch, wrapping his now empty arms around my cold body.

"You're a fucking asshole. Don't touch me."

I shove his hands off of me and curl up in a ball on the couch.

His hurt look makes me wash with guilt. Why does he do this?

"I'm sorry for snapping," I say after a little while of staring at the fire.

He places his hand on one of my knees, he's warm.

He smiles at me," I didn't mean to over do it. It just makes me so mad that--"

He stops himself and continues to look at me. Was he gonna finish his sentence or is he just gonna sit there with an unfinished sentence?

Let it go Kerri.

"Just, please don't do that again. I'm going to call him back," I answer him and pry his hands off my shoulders to move towards my phone on the couch.

He follows," its kinda dead..."

"Fuck," I yell in anger," now what am I going to do? What if he needed me?"

"I'm s--"

I cut him off," no you're not!"

"You are just bad. You don't think before you do. No, you think, you think about what you want," I add and throw my phone on the couch.

He looks past me, over my shoulder, at the crackling fire.

I don't move first, he does. He takes a step towards me, closing the once small space between our bodies.

I'm not cold anymore, I am raging with anger.

"Don't."

"For fucks sake Kerri, just stop. Let me in! Why can't you trust me? Why is it so difficult to see past me?" he yells and throws his hands in the air.

"Can you please--" he tries to add.

I shake my head before he can finish," I have tried, Grey. I cannot sit around and let you destroy mine and Lucas' friendship because you're jealous. You're too much of a risk. I thought I could either get over the fact that you're jealous or even push through it but I can't and though I care about you more than you'll ever know, I have to put Lucas first."

My tone and volume has decreased dramatically. Grey's deep orbs have transformed into pools of regret and pain. Hurt even.

I cover my mouth and step away, towards the fire. I hold the blanket around myself and turn towards Grey. His head hung low, staring at his feet.

"Can you take me home? Please?" I ask wiping a tear from my cheek.

He nods and walks towards the doorway. I grab: my now dry bathing suit, phone, and wallet, and walk out the door behind Grey.

I hold the blanket around me snugly to try and keep the cold blustery air out. But of course, my attempts never work.
He cranks the car and turns the heat up all the way. 103.7 plays in the background as we drive back down the long driveway.

I cannot even fathom the events of tonight . My head is spinning and my heart is aching for both Lucas and Grey.
I push them both to the back of my head but they find a way to surface before we arrive back at my house.

When we arrive at my house at 3:30 in the morning I continue to let the warm air hit my cheeks. I just stare out the windshield at the road ahead. My thoughts spin. Do I really want to do this? Leave things like this between us?
A tear escapes my eyes and runs slowly down my cheek. I close my eyes and feel the other tears that have been held back, fall down my cheeks.

One falls onto my lap, I feel the impact of another just before a calloused hand swipes the wetness off of my tear stricken face.

He pulls my head to his chest and I begin to cry harder, letting the tears fall onto his shirt.

"I'm sorry," is all I can say before exiting the car and shutting the door. Will this be the last time I can hear his voice? See his face?

When I reach the porch steps I am pulled back by Grey and hugged tightly. His warm breaths on my ear send chills down my spine.

He pulls back and kisses me slowly on the lips.

I feel a tear. A single tear mix with our kiss. Not mine, his.

When Grey pulls away he doesn't dare look at me, he just turns his back and walks away.

The only glimpse of his face that I see is the one that the car interior lights helps create. But they are soon shutoff and he drives away.

Well I honestly cannot believe that this book has almost come to a stopping point and we will soon move on to book two, which may I add, will probably hold much more drama than this one did. I hope you liked this drama filled chapter.. if so, give it a vote or a lovely comment. I am feeling very grateful tonight so even a single vote or single comment may put me in the mood for a double update. Love you all!!! -C