I'm Happy If You Are

Dwell

  "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."

-Soren Kierkegaar-

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Chapter 25:

(Grey's POV)

"Okay, now, tell me why you called me in the first place." 

We passed the hospital Kerri was at thirty minutes ago, stop thinking about her. 

"Grey!"

"Oh, sorry. I spaced out," I reply. Michael was quiet for the first thirty minutes, now he wants answers. The only thing I can think about is Kerri laying all alone in that bed, hurting, heartbroken, and probably cold because she is always cold. 

"Yeah, you did. Now, what's going on?" he laughed and kept an eye on the road.

I threw my hands up. "A girl, that's what."

He mocked me with a gasp," a girl?" He acted like he was surprised just to get on my nerves.

I rolled my eyes," yes, a girl, can we get off of the subject?" 

He nods and I look out the window.

I can't get the picture of Kerri happy out of my mind as I drop her off at her house the night I found her on the street, cold and shivering.

I start up again," it's just that she's so beautiful and perfect in every way. Her eyes glow when she smiles and I just don't do this. I just don't. I am the type of guy who uses a girl, but she... she just... she makes me want to take my past and throw it away. She makes me want to be the good guy."

"I thought we were going to drop the subject?" he nags with a grin.

I roll my eyes at him," shut the hell up."

He laughs at my tone. "If she makes you feel that way then be with her."

I shake my head. I can't be with her if Lucas is going to be all over her and act like he's dating her. He makes me think that he actually is in love with her when he says he loves her.

"Why not?" he replies to my head shake. 

"Because, she is having a hard time trusting me. And I wasn't too nice to her gay best friend either. I mean, he has her trust, he's got everything I want. He's got the perfect family, the perfect morals, the perfect life, and most importantly, he's got her trust. I want that, Michael, I want that."

I look out the window so he cannot see the tears building in my eyes. 

"Then get it."

He clearly does not understand how hard it is to win someone's trust when they've got a background like mine. 

"You don't get it." My reply shocks him and he glances at me.

"What do I not get?"

I rub my neck and look at his appearance," you have the morals, you don't have the background like I do. I use people and throw them away, I am the guy in the back of the class who doesn't care. I am the guy who gets in trouble for back talking and making a scene. I don't attract girls like Kerri. I'm not good enough for her.

"Stop it. This girl should see this right now, you are so in love with everything about her that you're not even seeing the point. This Kerri girl is blind to your love. When did you meet her?" he asks.

I shake my head in search of an answer,"maybe be a month ago."

He sighs," I don't know if you believe in love at first sight but, you've fallen in love with a girl within the first month of meeting her!"

(Lucas' POV)

"Lucas, wake up darling." I felt cold hands on my shoulders.

I opened my eyes to see Kerri's mom smiling sweetly beside me.

I set up right and saw Kerri sitting smiling on her bed fully dressed in her own clothes. "You're getting out of here?"

She nods. She must not have her voice. 

"The doctor said that as long she visits the doctor for a checkup in three days that everything will be all good just don't talk and take it easy as possible," Kerri's mom responds.

Kerri smiles at me and her eyes sparkle. I love that smile.

"Now lets going before they change their minds." I watch Kerri and her mother as they scurry out of the room, Kerri a bit slower than her mother due to Grey's stupidity.

I grab my coat from the floor and follow the two.

I know I need to tell Kerri but I just can't. What if she doesn't feel the same and I ruin our friendship?

Just put it away, the last thing I need to do is complicate things for her when she isn't even healed.

We get to Kerri's mom's car and I remember that I drove my car. "Hey, Kerri, I'll see you later. I drove here."

"Oh, well, I guess I'll talk to you later?" she smiled at me with more enthusiasm than usual. What is making her so happy? Well, she is getting out of that hell hole.

"Yeah. Be careful," I mutter and she pulls me to her in a hug.

"Thank you, Lucas, for staying. You're truly the only guy who I can trust."

I sigh into her hair, how does she always manage to smell good?

I pull away from her and back away as they pile into the car. She gets into the car without trouble and I begin walking the lone path to my car. 

I wish I would've parked closer, now I have a half mile to walk to my car, well that's a bit of an exaggerated guess.

I wonder if Kerri would feel the same if I told her? I will never know if I don't try. 

After the long and cold walk to my car, I get in and turn on the heat. I hate Winter.

The drive home is drug all the way to Mexico-- or it feels like it anyway-- I am thankful when I get home.

I open the front door to see my least expectation; Kenna in the floor unconscious.

I never thought her cancer had gotten this bad, I thought she told us the chemo was working?!

McKenna drama! Remember that family dinner, the night Kenna got home? Hehe. Comment and vote, lovely people! -C