Fluttershy

Quinn

So this is death.

It seemed roomy. Cozy, maybe. But that didn't compensate for the fact that I was dead.

I was dead. I wasn't even Queen for a second (officially) and I was already dead. Gideon, I hoped, could suffer a long and agonizing painful death for all I care. He could drown in his own blood and I wouldn't even flinch.

But I couldn't see that now. I couldn't see anything through the darkness. 

I couldn't see my father proud of me for once.

I never stood a chance against his demand for me. Quinn, be a good princess. Quinn, be a leader. Quinn, I wish you were a boy so I could have a son as king.

He never said he wanted a son, but I knew it from the start of his demands. Now, I would never be able to show him that I could be so much more than a princess. Besides, he wouldn't miss me. I never felt his love, no matter how hard I tried to get it.

Everything I did, I tried to earn his respect. I wanted to run away to show him that I could do things on my own. I wanted to stay away so that he would worry about me. I never felt his love, but I was determined to earn it, no matter how scared it made him. The only reason I came back was to save the human that I had left with him.

I remember when I was little, we had been in the throne room when I was a pixie, and he let me sit in his chair, just for fun. He told me that I would one day sit in that exact chair and rule over all of Fluttershy. It scared me as a little child, wondering if I would ever be up to it. Telling a child that they would rule over an entire kingdom would scare them, and I worked as hard as ever from that point on. But that only drove my father farther apart from me. Quinn, sit up straight. Quinn, use your manners. Quinn, you'll never be good enough for a queen.

Well, what did he think of me now? His only child was dead, and it was too late to have another one before the king and queen would be out of service as rulers. What did he think of me now? He's probably grieving over the fact that there was no one to fill the throne, not that he had lost his own flesh and blood.

The darkness had closed in on me, I had just realized, but it didn't matter. I would be here forever. 

I started to cry. My father never loved me. He loved who I was going to become. With so much hurt in my life, this was, sadly, the only place where I would be free from his pressures. I wasn't going to be hurt anymore, but that led to a death of dark and depressing loneliness.

The loneliness didn't bother me as much as the hurt I had caused my father. I was simply born to die. If he did not see me as a daughter, he did not see me at all.

Good riddance.

-------------------------

I took in a sharp and painful breath, my air caught in my throat and sucked in almost like it was backwards. I flew my eyes open and instantly winced at the light. I put my hands up to block the light, but tubes were connected to my wrists and running into my veins. I tried to yank them out as I started to breath very fast, and I wanted to get up from the surprisingly comfortable bed, but someone put their hands on my shoulders and held me down.

"It's okay, it's okay, settle!" Nathan said, fighting me to stay down. I grabbed his hands with my fingers and squeezed as hard as I could, making sure he was real. "Settle."

I sucked in another deep painful breath, and it caught in my throat again, making a wining sound like a siren. I stumbled for words.

"Where am I?" I asked, coughing.

"You're in the hospital back at the castle." Nathan replied calmly, not letting go of my shoulders. He towered over me and kept his soft smile like an assurance that he was there. I never let go of his hands. I swallowed multiple times before I went on.