Dark (The Past Never Changes)

Chapter 13

Kaylee's P.O.V.

I've spent the past two days in my room. Stuck in my own thoughts. A couple times it felt like I died but then I move and look around and I know I'm alive. Niall's words are still fresh on my mind and I don't know what to do to stop it. I've read every entry in my journal time after time and it doesn't seem to help me as much as it used to.

I've thought my friends. What if what Niall said is true? What if I have pushed them away? What if I push them so far they leave my life? Then I think back to when he went through my stuff. I felt so betrayed. But I can't even imagine how betrayed the girls feel.

He used everything I told him against me, but I don't think it was because he wanted to hurt me, I think it was because he wanted me to see what I do to people. I put his and Mark's words together. The more I shut people out the less people I will have in my life and it will get better, I promise, just don't go together. So many people have said so many different things.

And I know I said I didn't care what people think and if they care or not, but isn't caring about that stuff what got me here in the first place? Truth is, I do care. Maybe not from people I'll never see again, but definitely from the friends I do have.

Just as I was about to go down stairs someone knocks on my door. I look over to see Bree, Devin, and, Mariah coming in. I give them a small smile and sit up on my bed creating room for them on it. I reach over and pull out my box.

"Are you okay?" Mariah asks.

"Yeah. I just need to show you something." I take a deep breath and unlock it and pull out my journal.

"Kaylee no, that's your personal stuff." Bree says.

"I want to. Here. Look through it. I'll be downstairs." I nod and hand them the book.

***

About an hour later, they all come down. I expected it to take a while since I have a lot of stuff written in it. They join me on the couch. Bree gives me back my journal and I take a deep breath.

"Niall told me that I push everyone away, including you guys." I say softly.

"Oh, is that why you did this?" Devin asks.

"Not exactly. I did it because he's right. When people are around, I push you away to avoid them asking me things. That's not right. Eventually, if I keep it up, I'll lose you guys. I can't let that happen." I explain.

"No that would never happen. We were always there, we always will be." Bree assures me.

"Yeah, but I would've completely shut you out at some point. We all know it. Besides, I'd rather you be here because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. I want to give you a reason to do so." I say.

"Kaylee, don't let him get in your head." Mariah says seriously.

"I'm not. He's right. I need to appreciate what I have." I say.

"What else did he say to you?" Bree asks.

"Well he said I need to start opening up to people, but that's not gonna officially happen. I'll hang out with you guys when people come over, or of we go somewhere, but I don't plan on sharing any secrets with anyone but you guys." I assure them.

"We love you either way, Kaylee!" Mariah screams and hugs me dramatically.

"I love you guys too!" I say and and pull away from the group hug.

"Okay. So, guess who has a date tonight?" Devin's says and looks at me.

"No way!" I yell and wink at her teasingly. She shoves me softly.

"Shut up!" She whines and I laugh.

"Sorry to bring it up, but have you uh, talked to Niall?" I ask them. They all nod.

"Yeah, he's come by a couple time with Harry." Bree says.

"Oh okay. I just wanted to make sure he's okay." I say lowly.

"Awe! Do you care about him." Mariah jokes.

"Well kind of. I mean to an extent. Like I really wouldn't take a bullet for him, but I would feel bad if something happened to him." I say with a small smirk on my lips as they make googly eyes at me. "Stop." I whine.

"Well I have to go get ready for my date." Devin gets up and we all make 'ooo' sounds at her. She rolls her eyes and leaves.

"So what are you doing now?" I ask them.

"Harry and Michael want to hang at Harry's apartment. Want to come?" Bree asks.

"No it's cool. I'm gonna go to Niall's and try to fix things." I say and get up from the couch. I grab my keys and look at them.

"Call us if you need us." They say.

"I will. Love you guys!" I say and leave the house.

I drive over silently. I hope he is okay. I hope he can forgive me. I mean, this isn't going to change us, but I do want him to know he's right and that I'm sorry for the things I said. I pull up and there's an extra car in the driveway. I park on the street and walk up to the door. He answers and I peer inside to see a beautiful blonde sitting on the couch.

"Kaylee, what are you doing here?" He asks, not rudely but shocked.

"I-I um." I look back to the blonde. He follows my curiosity and turns around.

"Oh sorry. Hey, Cas, you need to leave." He says. I look at her reassuringly and shake my head.

"No, no, no! It's okay. I just came to apologize. You were, uh. You were right and I fixed things with the girls." I say and he gives me a smirk.

"Mhmm." He hums.

"Yeah so, uh, see you around." I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist.

"Don leave Kaylee." He entwines our fingers.

"Niall, I think we should j-just be friends." I stutter and look towards the door. I pull my hand away from him and rush to my car.

Maybe that girl was just his friend, but I still think we should just be friends. It will be better that way. On my way home I get a text from Bree.

Bree: How is it going?

Me: I left.

Bree: What, why?

Me: He had someone over. So I said sorry and left.

Bree: Oh okay. Well Michael brought over Luke, Calum, and Ashton. And Harry invited Louis, Liam, and Zayn. He invited Niall too, but he said he was busy. You should come too.

Me: I guess. I'll be right there.

I can not deny that I'm pretty excited to see Ashton again.