Me Without You

chapter six

4:48 a.m. June 4th

I stared at the box on the floor.

it wasn't big, but it wasn't small.

I was scared to open it, only god knows what could be inside.
I took a deep breath and picked up the lid off the top.

there was a letter, addressed again to me.

I opened it and slowly read the words written in his semi-messy handwriting.

"Cass,
if you're reading this than I'm gone.
I'm sorry.
I never wanted to leave you.
If I did decide to commit, I want you to know that it's not your fault.
You made everything so much better.
But it's all so much and I can't control it anymore. I'm scared that I'll hurt you if I stay, that's the last thing I want.
I love you you'll forever be my beautiful, gorgeous, perfect, sweet, kind, just straight up amazing angel.
I never had the chance to give you this, and now I never will.
I'm sorry babygirl.
goodbye."

I was crying hysterically now.
uncontrollably.

I looked into the bottom of the box, what was he talking about giving me?

under a layer of tissue paper there was a small velvet box.

I picked it up and opened it. Inside was the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.

It fit perfectly on my ring finger,

there was a note.

"I love you Cassidy.
I'm sorry,
I don't want you to have to constantly clean up my messes,
after all anyone who wants gets close to me gets hurt.
I wanted to spend an eternity with you.
I think this would be bet for the both of us.

I'd ask you to marry me, but it's too late for me I'm sorry Cass, I love you so much.

I'll miss you.

-Tyler"

The hours droned on as I cried on the floor of my formerly living boyfriend's room.

~*~

I stared at the wall

empty inside.
He was gone. He was really gone, his mom would soon clean all of his stuff out of his room, and there would be no trace of him here.

Eventually people would get on with their lives and Tyler's existence on this planet would disappear into oblivion.

With my thoughts moving one thousand miles a minute, I climbed back into his bed, engulfing my self in his scent wishing to imprint it on my skin. I slowly fell asleep somewhere in between my tears.

~*~