Me Without You

chapter eleven

2:35 a.m. June 19th

I lay asleep on the floor of my bedroom, sedated by half a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of vodka.

I continued stealing from my parents collection for the next few days, but if they looked and I took anymore they may figure out some things are missing. I was running out of time and alcohol.

I woke up around noon and made no plans to put any effort into the day.
I started going through my wallet trying to figure out what I had funds for.

My fingers found the fake ID I was given a long time ago by a girl I thought was my friend. We used to sneak into bars and parties now and then. She would always end up drunk or on some drugs, and would always end up being her babysitter. I never knew she was using me until After Tyler's death, she never even bothered to say anything to me,

But about me... now that's a different story. Said Tyler was crazy and I was just like him, and that's to say the least.

I was beginning to think she was right. And it's true. If I was to kill myself, no one would care.

I'm completely alone.

That's what I was missing, people. And suddenly I had another terrible idea, as usual. I made a plan for the following evening and laid out an outfit.

When it was around 11 p.m. I started on my makeup. I went bold, I wanted to look older after all. I finished with bright red lips and put on the very short black lace dress, grabbed the highest heels I owned. It was almost midnight now, and with that I climbed out the window into the night.

I turned on my car and thanked God it was quiet. I drove in the direction of the nearest bar I knew of.

I parked and slowly made my way inside. I wasn't nervous. Excited maybe, but I wasn't exactly sure.

I was let into the club and waited at the bar. I'd seen this move countless times, you wait at the bar for someone to buy you a drink.

I sat there for maybe three minutes before some college looking guy asked to buy me a drink and I graciously accepted.

I pretended to dance with him for a few minutes before I finished my drink and repositioned at the bar.

This time some asked me to do shots and and I agreed happily. It was terrible what I was becoming, but I couldn't stop myself.

I did six shots and was well on my way to very drunk.

I drank two beers with college guys and I hit my limit, but that didn't stop me.

I kept going, using people for my own distrusting and stopping at nothing to feel.

I felt the alcohol pumping through my system and I'd never felt more alive. I felt like I could do anything.

That's when I passed out.

I remember the glowing lights on the ceiling and then everything faded into darkness.

~*~