Typical Dumb Wattpad Moments

Novel or Biography?

Another moment of complete and utter insanity: I'm talking about authors putting themselves in their own books.

Now I'm not talking about the casual author's note or comment. No-ho-ho, I'm talking about the authors that literally put themselves into their books and have themselves interact with their characters, ending in a mess of unneeded scenes.

If we're being serious? NOBODY GIVES A CRAP. We read your story so that we can learn about new and original characters that seem interesting to us. If we wanted to read about you, we would have asked for a biography. (Not to say that you're not interesting or original, only that if you're trying to write a serious novel, it's not a good idea to put yourself in it.)

Sometimes author/characters show up for a quick scene to help out the other characters, and we don't really get a whole lot on you, just that you showed up for a second, (whatever your reason may be) and then decided that it was time to mousy the hell on out. This is one of the more reasonable forms of 'author interaction'. If you wanna have a little fun, sure why not? You do you boo-boo.

And then there are the situations where the author/character becomes a main in the story and we learn all about who you are:

-You like only beef and cheese on your  tacos

-You have an iPhone 6S in Rose Gold because it's your favorite color and it really (somehow) brings out the blue in your eyes

-You're half Mexican, half Chinese, half Japanese, half Indian, half American, half Italian, and an eighth viking from the Atlantics. You also just told us how bad at math you are.

Basically, You end up making the story about you, you, you and eventually the other characters don't even exist anymore.

It can even become a way of 'subtly' telling the audience that you have a perfectly good life but you're extremely depressed and have an abusive father and live in a godforsaken BOX. (Not to say that people don't have problems like these, but honestly, if you did, you wouldn't be very open about it.) Basically, you want people to feel bad for you which ends in thousands and thousands of votes and views. So, congrats I guess. Well played. NOT.

Anyways, getting a little off topic.

But seriously, If you wanna talk, talk. Wattpad even provides us with a message board. For god sakes, if you really want to, write a biography! But why ruin your story with unnecessary scenes with yourself. It's not professional and it's just pathetic to make yourself besties with your own characters (who btw, news flash, DON'T EXIST.)

Written by: Faith_Mog

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