Dancing With the Devil

Chapter 14

 Sorry for the funky wording, I'm reading The Scarlet Letter and Hawthorne is rubbing off on me!

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According to me, warmth was synonymous with comfort. I probably should’ve mentioned this sooner, so the previous events that had happened to me evoked reactions that would be clearer.

The bathwater, for example, and its partnering steam now appeared much more appealing since you understand my craving for the heat it offered. You might remember, too, the fire that Xavier had set to my school, and I hadn’t been afraid of the flames that crept closer to my vulnerable and flammable skin until the heat had become unbearable and no longer comfortable. Only when I was surrounded by the dancing flames that, at the time, I didn’t know wouldn’t hurt me did my fear overshadow my longing for the heat that they generously thrust upon me. It's true that I wasn't afraid of the flames also because Xavier himself was fire, and I was therefore connected to fire like no other being alive. Species, race, gender, age: all of these were irrelevant to the pure truth that I and I alone held such a connection with the element most others feared.

My view on heat was crucial in my decisions and actions during the time I spent around Xavier Drake. The glaring obviousness could be seen since the very first brush I had with him, since before his first note even. I think that I can pinpoint the beginning to my walk home that day he made himself known to me through that piece of parchment. I have my suspicions that the pang of longing I felt for love--to be held, kissed, and cherished--during the trek to my house was simultaneous to the first time he saw me. (He later confirmed my theory on a dark night when we had talked about random topics well into the small hours of the morning.) His handwriting in his first letter had been rushed and angry, since he had probably been jealous at the fact I was with Jake. (I have no doubt he did a background check on me the moment he found me, digging up my relationship status and address in the process.) His note came across as harsh and possessive, feelings that burned in his blood, flowing to his head and were then relayed to the muscles in his fingers as he wrote the words that had frightened me so much when I'd first read them.

In a similar way that dominos knock each other down, there was no stopping the chain reaction of events that progressed after he saw me and I felt him. Even though unconsciously for me, we recognized each other. My longing for the passion only he could offer multiplied unstoppably. I yearned to feel the delicious heat that coiled in my stomach the longer I was in his presence and that exploded through me at his kisses. I was attracted to his touch not only for the ardor that pooled inside me, but the heat that his skin naturally emitted, the hottest temperature any being was going to give off due to his demon heritage.

In his arms was the best place I could think to be, the combination of his touch and the emotions inside me a duo assault of comfort that I longed for more than anything else.

I had tried desperately to hang onto my old life, but that first threatening note from the anonymous person that wanted me dead instantly wiped any remnants from my life. It had been more than just Jake and  James. I knew that they were the two reminders that would make the most impact on Xavier, but they hadn’t been what I’d be gripping so relentlessly onto. I was worried about my mom. I was doing alright in school. My dancing had just begun. In my head, if I kept bringing up those two, then Xavier might realize that I didn’t want to let go of my old life. I didn’t want any of it now. Sure, I was going to miss my mom, but Xavier had promised she would be looked after caringly. I had more important topics to study now than geometry and Hemingway. My dancing had dwindled into a pastime that I didn’t take nearly as seriously anymore.

And, perhaps most significantly, even after a few years of being together with Jake and that one abrupt, deep kiss from James, they couldn’t hold a light to Xavier. Heck, even if I combined my feelings for the both of them, the petty emotions were whisked away in the aftermath of Xavier’s mere presence that was so explosive, I could think of little else when he was near me anymore. His touch sent snakes of passion slithering relentlessly through my veins until they wrapped around my brain and heart, rendering me useless against him. His kiss made my kneecaps liquefy, forcing me to have to lean against another sturdy object- whether it be Xavier himself, the wall, or the bed- unless I was willing to sink down to the floor in an embarrassing, quivering mess.