Halflings

Chapter Sixty Nine

~ Chapter Sixty Nine: Coping ~

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The first few weeks were very hard for Frodo. He could barely sleep, and hardly ate anything. The only thing that made him get out of bed every morning was to feed Drogo. After a couple of weeks, Sam and Rosie offered to take care of Drogo for a while, so Frodo could mourn in peace.

He stayed in bed all day, just laying there. When he did get up, it was to walk out into his empty kitchen and cook a meal for himself. After a couple weeks, he finally was strong enough to get out of Bag End. He walked himself out of town, as he received worried and concerned glances from the townsfolk.

He walked to Esmeralda's grave, and sat down in front of the tombstone.

"Esmeralda West-Baggins, wife and mother. 1383-1407"

He stared at the words for a few moments. The bouquet of flowers that was on the tombstone was rotted and dry, and crumbled when Frodo lifted it up. He set it aside, then took a deep breath.

"Hello, Esmeralda." He said. "Life has been pretty hard without you. I'm still wondering why the world took an amazing soul out of it like that. You were so young, and so ready for life."

Frodo's eyes filled with tears.

"I wish that it could have been me. I wish that more than anything. Esmeralda, you were my everything. I never thought that the pain I feel without you would compare with what we've been through. But I was so wrong. I have never felt this much pain in my life. I want the pain to end, but I'll keep going, for our son. I know that's what you wanted me to do."

Frodo's eyes spilled with tears, as he quickly wiped them away.

"I love you." He whispered, before standing up, and taking the decayed flowers.

He walked away, wiping the remaining tears from his cheeks.

He walked to Sam's house, and knocked on the door. When his friend answered, he explained to him that he was well enough to take Drogo back, and would try to stay happier. Sam smiled, and hugged his friend. When Frodo was reunited with Drogo, the infant automatically recognized him, and laughed when Frodo held him. The heartbroken Hobbit said thank you to his friends, and walked home with his son.

Frodo visited Esmeralda's grave every day for a year. He would talk to her, telling her stories about what him and Drogo did that day, and how much he missed her. Sam and his other friends has been getting worried about him. One day, he quietly sat in front of her grave. He didn't say anything for a while, as tears poured down his cheeks.

"Hey, Esmeralda." He sniffled. "I've been visiting you almost everyday now, since you died. Honestly, I've tried so hard to be a good, positive father for our son, but I can't do it. I can't do anything without you with me. Everything is numb." He took a deep breath, and wiped his tears. "I'm thinking about giving Drogo to Sam and Rosie." He sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I'm such an emotional wreck. I don't want him to be raised by someone like me. He needs a mother." He sighed, and shut his eyes. "Gandalf visited me the other day. He told me that Bilbo is leaving with the Elves to go to the Grey Havens; the Undying Lands. It's a place, beyond Middle Earth. The last ships are leaving, and I'm going with him." He fiddled with the flowers that he placed by her tombstone. "I won't be able to visit you anymore. I'm so sorry. I'm sure that Merry, Pippin, or our other friends will visit you, though. Hopefully they'll always leave marigolds for you. I know that's your favorite flower." He wiped his cheeks, and stood. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

The next day, Frodo knocked on Sam's door, holding Drogo's hand. A moment later, he answered.

"Mister Frodo."

"Can I come in?"

A few moments later, Frodo was sitting on their couch. Rosie came out of their kid's room, as she just put them to bed. She sat next to Sam, as Frodo sighed.

"I need to talk to you two."

Sam nodded. "Alright."

"Gandalf told me about the Undying Lands. It's a place beyond Middle Earth, and Bilbo is going. The last ships are leaving, never to return to here."

Sam and Rosie looked at him in pain, realizing what he was saying.

"I'm going with him."

Sam shook his head. "Frodo, no. What about your son?"

Frodo closed his eyes in sadness. "I can't raise him. He needs a loving mother, father, and siblings. I can't give him that." He opened his eyes. "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you of this."

Rosie looked at him in shock, as Sam closed his eyes, as tears rolled down his cheeks. After a moment, he slowly looked over at his wife. She nodded, and the two looked over at him.

"Of course."

Frodo closed his eyes in relief. "Thank you."

The three hugged, shedding tears. When they finally pulled away, Rosie looked at him. "I hope you find peace, Frodo."

"Me too."

Later, Frodo and Sam walked to the door.

"When are you leaving?"

"In a fortnight."

He nodded, as Frodo grabbed Drogo's hand.

"Thank you again, Sam."

"Of course."

Frodo began to walk away, before turning back around.

"Sam, you don't have to tell Drogo about Esmeralda and I. He won't remember us."

Sam walked up to his friend. "Are you kidding me? You and Esmeralda saved Middle Earth and went through so much. There is no way I'm keeping him from hearing about his incredible parents."

Frodo thought for a moment, then nodded. "Just... let him know that we loved him. Very, very much."

Sam smiled. "Will do, Mister Frodo."

They said their good night's, and Frodo and Drogo walked home together.