HIM

CHAPTER 20

I woke up the day after crying and screaming after having a nightmare that mum killed dad after he had hit her hard. Of course mum wasn't at home, she was at work. I looked at the clock and found that it is still 5 a.m and I had more than 3 hours to get ready for school. I knew it was impossible to sleep again after that horrendous nightmare so I just decided to go for a run, as last time I went for a run was about a week ago and it felt like forever.
I put on my Nike dark grey sweat pants and a light pink basic. I tied my hair as a ponytail and put on my transparent lenses as I didn't find my brown coloured lenes. I was in a terrible mood that I didn't even bother to look in the mirror, I am the same ugly pessimistic girl that I see everyday in te mirror anyways. I took my iPod, headphones and keys with me. I left the house at 5:20.
There is a park which takes me 20 minutes running from my house to reach. I like sitting there alone whenever I am in a bad mood or I argue with my mother. No one really knows that I come here very often. It's just like my secret place. I sometimes go there because I am bored and have nothing to do especially that I know no one to meet or hang out with since I cae here 4 months ago, except Harry and Karen of course but I have just met them two days ago.
I ran around the park a couple of times until I got tired. I just wandered in the park and there was a hill at the end of the park which I liked to climb sometimes when there is no kne around and now there is literally no one and I don't know why. Whenever I came here I always found people sometimes there were just a few people but still there were some people around but today there is no one at all.
I climbed the hill and put on my headphones. I thought again about what happened last night and wondered what did mum do after I just exploded at her suddenly and this is the first time ever I talked to her like that though we argued more than once but this was the first time to shout at her like that and tell her these offensive words. I wondered what had she felt after that?? Of course she cried, however she deserved it anyway. She doesn't have the right to control my life, it's already enough after forcing me to move from Minnesota and I told her like million times that I don't want to, but everytime she told me that that was for my own good. I think the only thing I like here is Harry and Karen.
I started to think about Harry and what he had done to me since I have met him, which is just two days ago, though it felt like forever or something. I think that's what I like about him, that he makes me feel that I know him since my childhood and as if we were raised together. I remember every single word he told me, every time he touched me and every single gentle gesture he showed me.
I really like him, I know it's very fast but it's not according to my will. I don't even know I like him as a lover or just as a friend or a brother as I have never had a brother or a male friend who cared about me, just once and it didn't even last for a couple of weeks. He was a new comer and his name was John. He was pretty handsome but he just died in a car accident after he told me that he wanted us to be bestfriend by about five weeks or something. My heart was broken then. I had depression for a long time.
I don't want to be heartbroken again in anyway whether Harry was going to be just my bestfriend or even my lover. I can't bear another state of depression that I survived by a miracle. I just have to take it slow and don't go with it very fast, I am still young and I am not desperate for being loved or something.
"But you still need someone to care about you, no one cares about you, not even your parents" my subconscious reminded me, and it's right but that should not make me desperate for having a friend and I shouldn't rush about it. I don't know what to do I am tired of thinking.
I sighed and lied on my back on that hill, I found that the sky was so cloudy, it is very obvious that it will rain soon. I closed my eyes and just started to cry because I remembered the terrifying nightmare. I stopped crying and stood as I heard some noise sown the hill, it was like someone was tossing some rocks into water, when I looked I found that it was a man.
I started to climb down the hill and as closer as I get, I hear him sobbing. I just was uncomfortable and frustrated, I have never seen anyone standing in that spot before. As I got closer that person became more clear to me, I was standing about 10 feet away from that person and was about to go and leave him alone, it began to rain.
"Shit." I said, and that person turned to see who was standing behind him, and for my surprise, it was Harry.
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So so so sorry for that late update , just wasn't in the mood to write that new chapter... but I made that chapter lone.. It is the longest so far it is nearly 960 words.. I'll try to update more tomorrow because I won't be home for Wednesday and maybe Thursday.. I'll try to update like 3 or 4 chapters..
Love y'all.. and thank you your patience.. Xxx