Wild

Chapter 17

Astrid's POV

I walked back to Cameron's apartment, hoping that he won't be in there so I don't have to tell him the bad news. Unfortunately, Mother Earth and Father Time were up for a show so they decided for Cameron to be sitting in the living room in front of the TV with a bag of Doritos.

"Hey Astrid, how is he?" Cameron asked as he popped a chip into his mouth.

"He's fine. What's on TV?" I asked, putting down my bag on the coffee table, trying to get out of the subject.

"NBA Finals today. Did the doctors say anything? Does he need further medication or anything?" Plan failed.

I sighed, preparing myself to tell him the truth when a question came into my mind. "Cameron, how exactly do you pay for all that?"

"Mom didn't left without leaving us nothing," he answered through his mouth of munching chips. "Now tell me what the nurse said, woman!" He joked.

I told Cameron what the nurse told me in the gentlest way possible, trying not to hurt him. In the end, I was the one who had a single tear coming down my cheek but I quickly got rid of it with my sleeve.

"Oh. When is the operation then?" Cameron asked, sounding worried in his tone.

"Tomorrow," I muttered, then blinking as fast as I can without Cameron catching me to prevent me from crying. Hey, Facebook facts do work sometimes.

"You know what Astrid?" Cameron stood up and waited for me to look up at him.

"I think you should go back to your own house once Xander gets out from operation." He said, then went back to his room with a slam on the door.

I was left speechless. And yet I said nothing. It was Cameron's house anyways. I packed, not like I had a lot, and spent the rest of the day in the park. Am I sad that Xander might forget me? Yes. It felt like a stone in my heart, one that I won't soon forget. Sadness can do so much to someone. It's exactly the same thing as anger, generated by a feeling so strong. The thudding in my heart keeps on telling me that I have to let him go, for his own sake. Maybe forgetting everything would be good sometimes. After all, we all hope for a clean slate and start again. Maybe this is Xander's clean slate. I have to be happy for him then, shouldn't I?

***

I walked beside Cameron, a nervous wreck. My hand kept shaking but Cameron told me he will be fine. Xander was awake, eating his breakfast. Before we went in, the nurse stopped me and asked me to give Xander a sleeping pill so he won't stress before the operation. I didn't want to do it, but Cameron forced me to.

"Hey." I whispered, hiding the nervousness in my voice. "You're looking so much better."

"Yeah, the nurse told me I can get out of here in a day or two. I'm so excited!" Xander whoops. He was acting like a five year-old again. What if the little boy in him will fade away too?

"Well I hope you stay here forever than wake up to annoy me." I teased.

"Aww, you don't mean that." Xander smiled and squeezed my hand. I looked down at my hand, the pill was inside and it felt like it was going to explode out of my hand and everything will be ruined.

"What's wrong?" He asked, worried.

"Nothing. You have to take your pill. The nurse asked me to give it to you." I forced a smile and pushed the pill into his hands. I watched as he took the pill. The pill that was going to end what we have. I never thought I would be so emotionally involved with someone. I never live off someone. It was a weird feeling and I don't know what it was till a few days ago. I like Xander, I really do. I remember every detail from when we met to right this moment and I don't want him to forget me.