Chapter Five: Surprise Bitch

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*Cordelia's POV
Alex walks into my office juggling three boxes in her hands.
I take two of the boxes and place them on my desk. "What's in here?"
"Why don't you look?" She asks, setting the last box down.
I shrug and pry the cardboard flaps apart. I gasp at what I see inside.
"Where- where did you get these?"
"I... I went to the swamp." She says as I pull out one of Misty's shawls. "I thought... you might want them... or something."
"Thank you." I murmur as I breathe in Misty's earthy scent.
"Yeah." She says, scratching the back of her neck. "Well, there's some cassettes in there too and a... Stevie poster, so... I'm just gonna go to bed, if that's okay..."
I look up at her. There's a nervous expression on her face.
"Is there something you're not telling me?"
"What? No!" Her pale cheeks redden a little.
"That blush tells me otherwise." I give her a joking glare. "What are you up to?"
"What do you mean? Nothing! I'm not up to anything!"
"Mm-hmm." I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow. I try to enter her mind to see what she's hiding, but a force pushes me back. "Why are you blocking your mind?"
"What?"
"I can't read your mind. Why are you blocking it? How are you blocking it?"
"I... I don't know."
"Just tell me what you're plotting!" I exclaim.
"Okay!" She shouts. "Fine! It's a surprise."
"A surprise?"
"Yeah. It'll be ready in a few days. Just... be patient. I know you'll like it."
"Okay." I say, dismissing her.

*Alex's POV
I exhale loudly when I'm out of Cordelia's earshot. I hadn't even known that I'd been holding a breath until I let it go. God, I'm terrible at keeping secrets.
'I was worried there for a moment.' The voice returns.
"I was too!" I exclaim.
'Back up, Carrot Top.' A voice says. It is closer than the voice from before, with a different accent. A snootier tone.
'Madison!' The first voice shouts. 'What are you doing in poor Alex's head?'
'Relax. I just need to ask the bitch a favor.' "Madison" snaps.
"What do you want?" I ask.
"Who are you talking to?" A voice asks. I look to see Cordelia standing in the doorway behind me. There is a crease between her brows.
"Oh, nobody." I say. She raises an eyebrow and I run up the stairs.
"What do you want?" I repeat to Madison.
'No, don't listen to her!' The first voice exclaims, worriedly.
"Then tell me your name!"
The voice sighs. 'My name is Myrtle. Myrtle Snow. I was Guardian of Veracity in the Vernacular from ever since 1971 and Head of the Witch's Council ever since last year.'
"MYRTLE?!" I exclaim. "YOU'RE MYRTLE?!"
'Shh, dear, please keep it down. I told you this is a surprise for Cordelia.'
'Speaking of, how is Cordy? Did she admit she's into girls yet?' Madison's rude voice interrupts.
"What?"
'A story for another time. Anywho... I need you to do something for me.'
"What?" I ask hesitantly.
'No, Alex, don't-'
'Zip it, Carrot Top. Now, Alex, was it? Where was I? Oh yeah, follow my directions verrrry carefully...'
"Stop." A man appears in front of me as I'm about to mount the steps to the attic. He is tall, head bent respectfully, long hair hanging over half is face. He is wearing a suit and a bow tie. "You can't go up there."
I reach out and touch his shoulder.
"Fiona aced Transmutation and Pyrokinesis." A girl with long blonde hair says (a little too loudly) to a redhead at a long dinner table. "By this time tomorrow, we'll have a new Supreme."
A blonde girl sits at the end of the table, sipping at a drink while two men maneuver around the table, serving food and wine.
The red headed girl in the cat's eyeglasses presses her lips into a tight line and leans over to the girl, confiding, "You know how Spalding spends his life cleaning up Fiona's messes?" The brunette blinks. "If Fiona did do something terrible to Anna Leigh, Spalding knows about it."
The young blonde at the end of the table smiles as she speaks, a young man who looks like Spalding sweeping something from the table beside her.
"If Spalding does know something, he's not talking."
"He's not going to have a choice." The redhead smirks, matter-of-factly. "I enchanted his tongue so it's incapable of speaking a lie. And I happen to know the Council's calling him for a closed session tomorrow morning."
Spalding, having secretly heard everything, leans in between the two girls, sweeping invisible dust particles from the table.
"Thank you, Spalding." The redhead says nervously as the young blonde watches her, plump lips pursed.
The redhead takes a drink from her glass and shifts uncomfortably under the blonde's gaze.
Spalding stands in the white bathroom, thunder crashing and rain hitting the windows. He stands in front of the mirror, an open straight razor in his hands. He takes a deep breath.
There is a knock at the door.
He sets the razor down on the edge of the sink, leaving the blade slightly open.
The young blonde is standing in the doorway when he answers it. "I got your note." He shuts the door behind her.
"Thank you for coming." He says, turning to face her. "These are my last words, Miss Fiona." She stares at him. "I have always loved you."
He gives her a toothy grin and holds up the straight razor. She gasps.
"Spalding."
He sticks out his tongue and takes it between his fingers, cutting the thick organ while Fiona screamed. Blood spattered on the mirror.
The whole house was awoken by Spalding's screams.
Moans, shrieks and pounding feet echo throughout the whole house.
"Oh, my God."
"Aah!"
"What's happening?"
"Someone's been attacked."
Spalding writhes on the floor, his tongue prominent against the black and white hexagonal tile.
"Everyone go back to your rooms this instant!" The teacher demands, and the girls scurry away.
Fiona and the redhead stare at each other for a split-second, then the redhead walks away.
"Who the hell are you?" I ask him as I retract my hand.
"The help." He sneers.
I touch his shoulder again.
Spalding gasps as he wakes up. His wrists are tied to the bed.
"Hey Spalding." The girl sitting in a dark corner of the room says coolly. I recognize her as Zoe, one of the Council members. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine." He replies, surprised by his own answer. "I feel fine. How am I..." He leans back on the pillows and sticks out his tongue. In and out, in, and out. "Whose tongue is this?" There is a large second or third-degree burn on the side of his face.
"Yours." She answers. "I found it the other day, hidden away. At first I didn't realize what it was. I mean, a severed tongue stored away for 40 years?" A girl is seen, digging through a closet with a flashlight. She finds a box and opens it. "You'd think it'd be shriveled up like a slice of beef jerky by now." She gasps when she sees the tongue. "But it wasn't. It was wet, alive... because someone enchanted it. Isn't that right?"
"Yes." He answers, unconscious of his answers. The only thing that comes out is the truth.
"'M.S.'" She picks up a wooden box from the nightstand and taps the initials. "Myrtle Snow. She wanted you to tell the truth. But that was the last thing you wanted to do. So you cut it out of your own head." He is silent for a moment. "Answer me!" She shouts.
"Yes." He obliges.
"But you didn't know that she kept it. But Myrtle wasn't witch enough to restore it." She smiles a little. "But I'm not Myrtle."
Zoe is seen, speaking an incantation in Latin. She sets the severed tongue on a plate in the center of some candles. She draws a circle of blood around the white plate, still speaking in Latin as Spalding sleeps across the room. She drops a small skull into a beaker of acid and blows black powder onto the now-bloody tongue. She feeds it to an unconscious Spalding. It slips inside his mouth and reattaches itself to his stub.
Spalding chuckles as he lays in bed. "What do you want from me? Heh."
"The only thing that you can't refuse me." She sneers. His smile falters. "The truth. Did you kill Madison Montgomery?"
He grunts and writhes in his bed. "Madison Montgomery... is alive."
"That wasn't the question."
"No!" He exclaims. "I didn't kill her."
"But you know who did."
He frowns, the answer slipping off his newly-attached tongue like turpentine. "Yes... I do."
"Say the name."
He grunts again, shaking his head vigorously. "Please don't make me."
She leans down and demands, "Say the name."
He groans, squirming under her gaze and because of the words threatening to slip off his tongue. The veins pop out of his forehead and neck. "Fiona." He sobs, his sobs turning into loud moans, exclamations. "Fiona Goode. I say her name. I bless it." He says. "As long is there is a tongue in this head, I will say it. I will always say her name. Fiona Goode!" He shouts, his vile breath and teeth in her face. "Our Supreme."
"She's not your Supreme, Spalding." Zoe says. "She's your employer. You're not a part of this coven."
"My family has served this coven... for ten generations." He growls. "I have devoted my life to it."
"Not anymore." She says, bringing a dagger with a thick hilt from behind her back and stabbing him in the heart with it. A little blood spatters on the pillows. Spalding groans. "You're done talking."
"Wow." I say. "That's intense."
"It was one of your kind who murdered me. Bring me back."
"Where are you buried?"
"I'm in the attic." He says, pointing a grubby talon to the ceiling.
"Okay..." I reply, but he's already gone. I sigh. Stupid ghosts.
'Um, hello, butch, whenever you're ready...' Madison's voice rings in my head.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." I grumble, mounting the steps to the attic. "Holy shit." I grunt as the odor of rotting flesh meets my nose. "Where are you?"
'In the chest.' Madison's voice replies.
'Under the mattress.' I hear Spalding's voice deadpan.
'Whoa, whoa, whoa. Me first, Jeeves.' Madison snaps.
Just to spite her (because she sounds like a bitch), I walk over to the bed and yank up the mattress.
There the corpse of Spalding lay, in the same hideous green robe stained with blood he wore in the vision. Wow, Zoe. Just wow.
I reach for his arm but take a step back when I see the maggots crawling around in his skin. If his arm falls off, I can't put it back on.
I sigh and brush my fingers against his chest. His eyes open.
"Hey Spalding." I joke. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine." He snaps. "I feel fine."
I look around the room. My eyes settle on the oak chest five feet away. I go to open it but Spalding stops me.
"No!"
"What?"
"I've never had a life-sized doll like her before..."
"Shut up, you creep." I say, opening the chest. I almost stagger back at the horrible smell. "Jesus, Madison, take an effing shower."
'I will, as soon as you bring me back to life!' Her voice shouts in my head.
I look down at her blonde corpse. "How the hell did you even die?"
'Well first I got my throat slit by Fiona, then I got strangled by the guard dog.'
"O-kay." I mutter, then brush my fingers across her chest.
'Hey! Hands off the goods!'
"Do you want me to bring you back or not?" I shout.
'Touch my arm or something, lesbo!'
"Fine." I say, slapping her corpse across the face. It immediately sits up, gulping for air.
"Well, hot damn." She says. "You actually did it."
"Yeah. Didn't you see me just bring Spalding back?"
"Hey Jeeves!" She waves dramatically to Spalding, who is now in his black suit.
I offer her my hand but she hoists herself up out of the chest... and slaps me across the face.
"What was that for?!" I shout.
"Payback's a bitch, honey."

*Cordelia's POV
I walk upstairs and into the hallway to find the attic door open and the ladder down. I was hoping to find Alex. Something had been bugging her lately and I wanted to know what the surprise was. And who the hell was she talking to earlier?
I hear voices coming from the attic. Hmm. That's odd. I could've sworn I locked the attic door...
"No!" A man's voice exclaims.
"What?"
Alex's voice.
"I've never had a life-sized doll like her before..." The man says. It sounds a lot like Spalding. Hmm.
"Shut up, you creep." Alex says. "Jesus, Madison, take an effing shower."
Madison? Who the hell is she talking to?
"How the hell did you even die?" Alex's voice speaks again.
A few seconds pass.
"O-kay."
"Do you want me to bring you back or not?" Alex shouts. Silence.
"Fine." She says. There's a slapping sound.
"Well, hot damn." A voice says. It sounds like... "You actually did it."
"Yeah. Didn't you see me just bring Spalding back?"
Spalding? What the hell is going on up there?
I start to mount the stairs.
"Hey Jeeves!"
A creaking sound and another slap.
"What was that for?!" Alex shouts.
"Payback's a bitch, honey."
"Alex?" I ask as I near the top step. "Who are you-"
"Surprise bitch." The younger blonde says to me as my jaw drops. "Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me."

A/N: MWAHAHAHAHAHA

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