Reminisce: Dear O,

August 2nd, 2014

August 2nd, 2014

        "Today I discovered something about Ophelia; she doesn't have any self pity. She knows what she has been through and the things she has done to survive. Any time I begin to mope, Ophelia puts me right in my place. But she is never harsh about it, simply stern in reminding me that I am not just the Winter Soldier that HYDRA made me. I need that more than she knows, I need her more than she knows. Last night I was plagued with a nightmare that I won't write here because I do not want her to read it; if she ever does get a chance to read this, I want her to be able to know how I felt from the start, even if I've not been able to explain it to her.

        Even though I didn't make it clear that I was in need of solace when I jerked awake from the memory, Ophelia woke seconds after and rolled onto her side to look at me. I couldn't make eye contact with her after seeing what I had done in a not-so-distant past. She reached her hand over and gripped my wrist; I couldn't feel it as it was that arm. She asked if I wanted to talk about it; I didn't. So she simply moved my arm away from my body, slid herself next to me and rested her head upon my chest. The slow pulse of her heart beat calmed my own, and her deep breathing made mine match hers. Though we had been sleeping in the same bed for over a month now, this was the closest she'd ever been to me before. I could feel her warmth spreading through me, her hand wrapped over my chest as she fell back asleep.

         I stayed awake for a long time, until the sun started to rise and peer through the hardly-veiled windows. I began to think about what sort of future I could have with Ophelia. It felt as though we started everything backwards; she fell in love with me at the worst possible time of my life, but that love for me had saved me from myself and from HYDRA. I held her a little tighter that morning before she woke, and I think she noticed."