Reminisce: Dear O,

September 4th, 2015

September 4th, 2015

       "O had some highlights about her foggy past; she couldn't recall everything, even her mind can only access so much. Back when she was just a kid, unsure about what life meant, unsure about why she was treated the way she was treated but knowing no other life, she had a few rays of light that made living a little bit easier. It's good to know, but it would never humanize the things HYDRA did, what HYDRA was.

      Still, it was good to hear that there were events that happened that made her smile. The first memory she ever had that was good was seeing the sun for the first time. She was four or five, and they let her out in the snow. Zola, he's the one who gave her a break here and there. He's the one who is compassionate to animals, but not to people. O might have seen him as the closest thing to a father figure, but he was still a horrible person- but he gave her chances to live. She remembers the snow, of course, there is nothing but snow there. Snow birds; the first animals that she ever saw. Free, able to go anywhere and everywhere.

       Her first good memory is also associated with the realization that she was not free.

       Imagine that, age five -at the most- your first good memory is also the realization that you'll be trapped forever. But she's not, not anymore. It was so long, so many years, but even when she was telling me this story, I could see her eyes light up when she knew she was free, like those snow birds.

        She has other vague, small memories. A toy, clearly used and well loved by someone else -she tries not to think about who it came from- a handful of stale candy from the pocket of Zola (she specifically remembers the way the wrapper didn't entirely peel off of the candy, and she ate it anyways) sneaking it in when no one was looking. She never learned to trust anyone, she simply learned how to listen to them. When she was older, they began the more serious tests, the ones that pushed her body and mind to the absolute limits. As a kid, it was about conditioning her to listen to them, as a teenager it was about seeing what she was going to be capable of if they pumped her full of toxins. Zola was the only person who stood out to her, the only person who bothered to think maybe he should give her something to smile about.

      All I remember about the bastard was pain.

     But he is the reason I'm alive today.

     So I can see where Ophelia saw him as a light in the darkness, but I'd still kill him if he were still alive today to kill."