July 29th, 2014

1.8K 114 29
                                    

July 29th 2014

         "She's okay.

         I got home after a night shift, and it was nearly six AM when I finally entered our small apartment. It's still foreign calling it 'ours' because I'm not exactly sure what 'we' are. I know she loves me, she told me that a long time ago now. I'm not sure what that means, not anymore, and yet, I'm drawn to her in ways I cannot explain. I expected to find her in bed, a cold sweat and a clammy feel to her body; but I was surprised to see she was propped in the window that overlooked another apartment building across from ours. What startled me more than seeing her in such a good physical state, was what she was wearing. As if she were taunting me, she wore a shirt that was one of mine, and the shorts she was in were nothing short of revealing.

       I felt like an idiot when she glanced my way, catching me with my mouth agape like I'd never seen a woman before. But she smiled, at first with her lips and it extended to her eyes. She was glowing, and she knew it. Since the day we left Washington, she hadn't looked like this. She's lost some weight due to the withdrawal, but she will be back to her normal self soon. As I write this, I realize that I don't know if I even know what her normal self is. Or if she does either; I suspect this will be a time of growth for her. I wish I could give her more, but she always appears as though she has everything in the world that she could ever ask for. Even suffering her symptoms a few weeks back when I found this place, the minute I showed it to her with my nerves nearly shot, I suspected that she would be turned off by the dingy place that was all I could afford.

        But her face had lit up.

         That's when I knew that Ophelia was not someone I was going to have to worry about pleasing with the traditional way of things. Back when I was... whoever I was back before all this, I spoiled women with ridiculous things. Flowers, candies, took them to the films, anything that would make them smile. But O, she is so different. All she wants is me to be there with her, to be there for her, and I am starting to understand what I need to be for her. It's not about what I can buy, it's about how well I can be there and how well I can understand exactly who she is. As I learn more about her, I am learning more about myself as I am now."

Reminisce: Dear O,Where stories live. Discover now