Musings of an INFJ

Introverted

I am not anti-social
I am a selectively-social person
I am not a shy person either
I am quiet around people
Especially those I do not know
But I have perfectly normal social skills
I just choose to blend in most
Of the time I am away from home

I feel misunderstood because I only have the ability to be around people for short times and then I shut down
I never want someone to take it personally when I need a break
Because I genuinely like my friends
I want people to understand me and
Accept that I am social for a while
But I need a lot of downtime too

I require much alone time
Which involves seclusion
Where I can allow my mind
To fly free to explore what I create
In my head that excites me and gives Me fanciful wings to keep me unrestrained in the mundane daily life

I am easily overwhelmed when
I feel as if I am being pulled
In too many directions
From people that want and need
Things from me
Being in a busy place
Over-stimulates all of my senses

My brain tries to assimilate the
Information that bombards me
Attempting to make sense
Of the constant stream of input

During a conversation I use my
Energy reading the emotions
Making connection
Calculating whether or not the
Person is being authentic
Looking deeper to find clarify and
Find meaning in the interaction
Sometimes I forget to listen
Because I am focused on the
Non-verbal language going on

I do not choose to do this kind of analysis within social settings
It is just how I am
So when I reach sensory overload
I need to recharge in my solitude
It is not because I am mean or
Do not like another person
It is because I require solitude

I do not recharge hanging with friends
I do not rejuvenate at gatherings
Or relish having bodywork done
The thought of a haircut appointment
With the obligatory small talk
Brings me to a state of anxiety
These events are not enjoyable for me

When I have had ENOUGH
Allow me to read my books
Or watch a few shows on television
Or even just daydream in my bed
Now that is where I find my bliss

I understand that people who are
Not like me think I'm stunted or
Sheltered or just weird, however,

I am not anti-social
I am a selectively-social person
So when I choose to allow another
Person into my life it is because
I genuinely consider that person
Worth feeling uncomfortable for
Because it is a choice to override
Some of my comfort in order to
Allow someone special into
My introverted inner sanctuary