Musings of an INFJ

There's A Hole in My Bucket

Do you recall the children's folk song with the same title above?

It's a never-ending circular song about the hole in the bucket spinning into infinity the issue to never being able to solve the hole in the bucket. The issue is annoying and frustrating and broken.

Sometimes I feel like the bucket with the hole. No matter how much I think I'm filling myself up with what I need to thrive there seems to be a leak. A breakdown somewhere in the system.

If I get enough sleep I'll feel rested. If I eat fresh whole foods I'll be nourished. If I exercise my body it will work like it's supposed to with little to no pain. If I give to others I will receive back what I put out. How tricky can it be? All of these examples seem fairly straightforward.

Then why am I never full? Where's the breakdown in the system? I'm waiting for some answers.  I'm seeking clarity by reading and learning.  I'm open to the wisdom of the universe.

I'm a patient and conscience person. Honestly, I can list a myriad of examples of what I do for others and if service was the answer to fulfillment I should be overflowing with joy and contentment!

All I have control of really is myself. So I assess regularly where I am lacking and where I can make improvements and hopefully working from this list I do better--become better--am better. I think we are all ~works in progress~ and ~live and learn~ is as true as true gets.

But I also believe that seeing results can be somewhat expected and when I am actively pursuing achieving the next level I want a bit of success as an incentive.

Which brings me back to the original premise of there must be a hole in my bucket. Maybe I'm going about this in the very same maddeningly frustrating vicious circular way as the song?

The answer is within me. I just need to decode the mystery and find where I'm leaking.

As not to leave that irksome children's song in your mind, I'll leave you with the Indigo Girls instead--because maybe that's what I'm looking for after all to be closer to fine. 

https://youtu.be/ShiegA9UZYs