Something about her (lesbian story)

32.

No ones POV, but right now this is Melajahs dream/flashback.

He was complacent.

He was always well dressed and polite. Around strangers. Most people would call him overly confident. He thought the world revolved around him. He was the sun, he gave everyone and everything purpose in life, without him there wouldn't be nothing. He was the sun and everyone around him was simply revolving.

He smelt of old cheap cologne. But it worked for him, all the woman in his law firm was head over heels in love with their boss; my dad. He was charismatic and charming, he got what he wanted when he wanted it. He had my mom and I but he always wanted more. He always explained how we held him back from his true potential and that he could have been making six figures if it wasn't for us.

He drunk a lot and treated women like they had an expiration date attached to them. He wasn't faithful to my mother, he treated her like she was shit that he had stepped on by an accident and the stench really never went away. But he used to love my mother, they used to be head over heels. They met in high school and it was "love at first sight". He proposed to her at 20, he said he already knew what he wanted in life and it was her. She had followed him to Harvard after he got accepted, my fathers future was bright; nobody suspected him to fall down the path that he had. At 24 they moved to the city after my dad was hired at one of the top law firms in state. He became this huge success and everyone loved him, especially the women.

Then I came two years later, I wasn't expected but it was a pleasant surprise. My father was happy and content with his lifestyle, he was at the top of the world at the time; he was the man. After I was born my father went out his way to make sure I had a great childhood, he protected me from all the bad things in life except himself. He wasn't the same father who would play dollies with me, he no longer read books to me to help me sleep, he no longer checked underneath my bed and closet for monsters, he didn't make pancakes with me in the early mornings, he no longer sang Elvis songs around the house, and most importantly he no longer loved me.

He had lost his job. And he blamed me. It was all my fault. He was devastated. And it was all because of me? I don't know how it was my fault but he came home one day and he wasn't my father. I greeted him at the door and he shook me off his leg like I was a dog. I was only 2 but somehow my little mind knew something had changed in my father that day.

It wasn't the day he hit me, it wasn't the day he hit my mom, it wasn't the day he moved us to Colorado, it wasn't the day he broke my piano, it was the day when I made him a "Happy Fathers Day" card. In the card I told him that things were going to get better and that I was gonna make it better because I loved him and I would do anything for him. I always did everything for him. Even when mommy went to work sometimes and he "bathed" me or sometimes when we played Doctor together, it hurt me but it made him happy.

My Father's Day card was ripped up in the trash bin the next day. In that moment I knew what abandonment felt like, I was constantly drowning and my father just watched in awe as the ocean water slowly took me in all at once. Nothing is worse than having a father who is there; but isn't actually there. What hurts the most was the constant fear of him, after losing his job he started to drink heavily and was very violent towards us.

My mom told me it was just a phase and that as long as I loved him with all my heart he would be okay.

That was a lie. He didn't change at all and he wasn't okay. "Get down here!" He yelled from the top of the stars furiously. I stood up from my position on the floor in front of my dolls and stumbled down the stairs to meet my drunken father. "What is this mess?" He asked.