They Didn't Know (A Minizerk Fanfiction) {HIATUS}

Chapter 4: 3am

Josh's POV:

Its been about a week since we recorded that video and I can't help but feel that something's off with Simon. He doesn't seem to be himself around the house, or when talking to me or Vikk, yet he's the same, normal, happier Simon when we record. I don't understand what's happened between then and now to make him change, but I wish he'd talk to me about it.

It was currently 3 in the morning, and I was sat at the kitchen island having a break from recording and editing, drinking Dr. Pepper. I expected Simon to still be up doing something in his room, since we had similar sleeping patterns, but I hadn't heard anything as I left my room so maybe he's editing. That's strange though, if Simon wasn't busy in his room, he tended to come downstairs. Oh well, he could be doing something else, it's not uncommon for any of us.

My thoughts were interrupted when Vikk walked into the kitchen, looking like a zombie.

"Hey Vikk." I said, making him jump a little, obviously not realising I was there.

"Oh, hey Josh." he replied, yawning.

"What are you doing down here?" I asked him.

"Just grabbing a drink before going back up to edit." He yawned again. He really needs to get more sleep. "What about you?"

"I'm just having a break." I simply answered his question, without going into detail. "You really should get some sleep Vikk."

"I know, and I will after I've edited this video. I'll get back to it now, the sooner I do, the sooner it will be done and the sooner I can sleep" he promised, before disappearing back up the stairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again. Maybe I should talk to Simon about this. Or maybe that's a bad idea.

Simon's POV:

3am and here I am, sat playing FIFA for fun when I should be editing. I just can't seem to focus on my editing right now, so I don't want to force myself to do it and do a really bad job. I could try to sleep, but my mind is working overtime. I could go downstairs, but I don't want to have to potentially deal with Josh or Vikk. I'll just stay here. It's not that I'm scared to face them, I just feel like if I do, they'll find out.

I haven't done anything useful the past couple of days, I've just recorded, edited, slept and thought. I have barely left my room, and when I did, it wasn't for long periods of time, maybe to get a drink or something to eat. Even then, I brought it up to my room.

Maybe I should just tell them, or at least Josh. Get it off my chest. Josh is my best friend, so maybe it would be easier to tell him first. Exactly, he's your best friend, and if he doesn't like you for what you are, you've lost your closest friend. He deserves to know first, we tell each other everything. You mean you did. You've barely spoken to him in a week, and you only did in recordings, not after of before them. That's very true, and that's my fault. I should make an effort to talk to him, to show him I'm okay, even though I'm not really.

I really think I should tell someone, probably one of the Sidemen. I'm just really scared they won't accept me because I'm gay. I mean, I know none of them are homophobic, at least, none of them have made it clear that they are, but still. No one knows I'm gay, but I've known in myself that I was for a couple of years, when I started to look at people differently. And though I had small crushes at the beginning, there's one person in particular that I like. The only problem is he's straight, as in, has a girlfriend straight. But I'll put his happiness with her over mine, and I'll keep this crush to myself.