They Didn't Know (A Minizerk Fanfiction) {HIATUS}

Chapter 27: Just Tell Me

Simon's POV:

I've decided I need to find out what happened that night that could have triggered this feeling of nothingness and the sudden loss of happiness. Yes, I am worried about what I could find out, but I'd rather know and have to deal with the consequences than be stuck not knowing. But the question is: who do I ask? Who can I remember spending time with that night? Vikk? No, I only saw him briefly. Jide? He went straight to the bar as soon as we got there and I don't think I saw him at all after that. Josh? I vaguely remember sitting with him at the start of the evening and then ... him coming to find me at the end of the night? Did that happen or am I imagining things? If it really happened, I hope that I didn't say anything to him in my drunk state, I'd hate myself if I'd accidentally told him and he's been stuck with the knowledge that I like him when he has a girlfriend. Well, I guess the only way to find out is to ask him.

*****

Now, several hours later, after a long recording session, I've decided I'm gonna talk to Josh.

Just as the call was coming to an end and everyone was signing off, I messaged Josh.

Me: Hey Josh, are you free now? I need to talk to you

Zerker: Yeah, I'm free, what is it that you wanna talk about?

Me: I just need your help with something, can I come to your room?

Zerker: Okay, yeah sure

Great, here we go.

Josh's POV:

I was kinda confused when Simon asked if he could talk to me, but I just passed it off as something to do with videos. It wasn't until he came through my door with a sheepish look on his face and his head down, that I knew that wasn't what it was about.

"What's up Simon?" I asked, signalling for him to sit down on my bed.

"I er... I've been feeling strange for a few weeks now, like, not right and empty." He paused slightly, so I nodded softly, telling him it's okay to carry on. "So I came to talk to you because I wanted to ask: what happened the night of my birthday? Because I can't remember that night at all."

Shit. What do I do now? Tell him the truth and risk him shutting himself away again? Or lie to him and live with this myself? "Josh, I know that look, please tell me the truth."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"I'm sure, please just tell me."

"Well, you got extremely drunk, as you probably know from your hangover the next morning, and none of us really saw you all night because you were either on the dancefloor or sat at the bar, both with men, you spent several hours talking to the same guy at one point." I trailed off slightly, before picking back up again." Anyway, when me and the other guys decided it was a good time to leave, you weren't with us, so I said I'd find you while Vikk and Tobi found JJ, Harry and Freezy. When I found you, you weren't sat at the bar with the guy you'd been talking to like I'd expected, so I was confused and worried. But then you snuck up behind me and made me jump. You were so drunk you could barely walk, so I put your arm around my shoulder but that still didn't help, so I put my arm around your waist and helped you walk to the Uber. On the way, you told me that you thought you'd found someone, but he only wanted one night, and then you leaned your head on my shoulder, which I allowed because you were drunk and couldn't stand. Then you..." This is where everything will go downhill, I really don't want to tell him this.

Simon's POV:

This doesn't sound good. "Josh, please, what did I do? I need to know."

"You" then he mumbled something inaudible, which worried me, what could I have done that bad, that he really didn't want to tell me.

"Please don't drag this out, just say it."

He sighed. "You called me babe" shit "then you...you began kissing up and down my neck." Double shit. What the fuck did I do that for? I'm such an idiot. "Simon, be straight with me. Do you like me?"

Before I could answer, my body seemed to move on its own, leaving Josh's room as fast as possible and slamming the door to my own before I could even process what I was doing. Josh knows. He knows I like him. I mean, I can't exactly deny it now, I kissed his neck while drunk! Why did I do that? I've messed everything up, we can't be the same after this, there's no way.

The tears started falling, as I realised why I'd been feeling empty. It was my subconscious of telling me I'd fucked up. Badly. Maybe to a point where it can't be fixed anymore.

A/N: I'm so annoyed at myself for constantly having to apologise for being gone for so long, and I never have a reason, other than I'm a shit writer who can never come up with good content. But oh well, here's another update for you, the next one will come sometime...

Until next time x