Cutting is a problem and a solution (kellin quinn)

The talk

* at the bus*

"Why? Why are you starving yourself?!"Kellin yelled

By now everyone was out of the bus and wanted to leave us alone to talk

"I'm not!"I said sitting down

"No don't just don't ! I already caught you in the lie so just please tell me the truth"He yelled

"What's the point your not going to make me better I'm not going to stop untill I'm skiny!"I said stubbornly

"But you are skinny?"He said

"No no no no don't lie honestly ! your sitting here telling me that I should tell the truth so what about you! I look around at my new school and see nothing but thigh gaps, tight stomachs, and skinniness ! I know I can do something about it so I am ! I'm starving and only so I can be perfect and no one can stop that"I said truthfully

"Babe...listen your beautiful,smart and perfect as it is"He said

"Lies lies lies"i said

"Sure you don't have a thigh gap and your bones aren't showing but that's a good thing"He said trying to cheer me up

"It's not working I'm disgusting and it dosent matter if you know that or not you can want me over a model for all I care and I'm still not convinced because it's not about your opinion it's about mine and how I'm dealing with it ,I have a gym card and I'm starving myself all so I can be skinny and when I am I'm going to rock my skinniness !"I said putting him in shock

"I'm not letting you go through this alone"He said and put a kiss on my forehead

2 weeks later*

"Wanna go for some coffee?" Jesse said

"I'm yes yes yes god I've been wanting this forever"I said laughing

Coffee dosent make you gain anything unless you put lots of sugar and crap on it

We quickly drove to Starbucks to get me a pumpkin spice and him a vanilla mocha

We collected our drinks and say down in a warm comfy couch

"I've got something to tell you Jaz"He said nervously

"Go on"I said scared from his seriousness

"I'm quiting the band"He said right before my breath hitched, and my heart stopped

"No why please don't we love you so much did the boys do something to you?"i said asking all kinds of stuff

"No no it's just Ashley called last night and complained about how I'm never home and I've realized I need to be there for her" He said

"Will you still be around?"I said hopefully

"Well duh I mean I love you guys and I'm going to be around forever!"He said

"Well I'm not going to hold you back but you have to visit every week at least"

"More like everyday"He laughed

We then started to walk out when I noticed me and Kellin on the front of a magazine

I read the whole page and found out they had recorded me and Kellins whole conversation a few weeks back

What am I going to do the world knows I'm anorexic now oh my god what am I going to do about this?

"Oh my god ! Jaz is this true?"Jesse said trying not to cry

"Yes"i said in disappointment

"But why your so perfect"he said

I said nothing more as we drove back to the bus in silent tears

I had decided to check twitter to see what people were saying about all this

"Anorexic" "fatass" "keep going still fat" " Wow attention whore" "so stupid" "ana freak"

'I can't do this' I thought as I got off my phone

"Kellin" I whispered in deep tears drowning my face as we walked onto the bus

Everyone sat in shock as there was a magazine on the table

"Ooh fucking god this fucking paps! are you ok? "he said holding me in this arms

"Meeeerrrrppp" my phone said alerting a text

We done I want a gf who isn't anorexic~ Cody

I then through my phone across the room and laid in bed as I cried and cried my heart out as Kellin laid there with me

God everything is falling apart right now all I ever wanted was to have a skinny body and it stay a secret but of course it dosent happen

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JESSE COME BACK I WUV UUU 💐😲😱😭😭😫😭😭

Thx so much for the reads u guys r amazing and srry i haven't been updating it's just I have cheer and school and sometimes I'm just lazy or forget 😭😭☺️😍💩🎀👍💛🙅😛