Cutting is a problem and a solution (kellin quinn)

Mini mom?

"JAZ!"my mom screams as I walked in the door getting dipped in hugs and kisses I didn't mind though I needed some kind of attention and my mom was the best at giving me love

"Hi mom I missed you."I said as a tiny tear fell onto my moms shoulder as we hugged

"Oh honey I missed you more than you even understand "She said honestly

I always am thinking about how much everyone hates me and shit like that but I will always know how much my mom loves me and I can't forget that.

"Mom thanks for being there"I said

* The talk *

"So sweetie about the ana thing..."She said as we sat at the kitchen table with a scrapbook

"Mom you don't have to"

"I want to."She stated and opened the book

"This was when I was 13 I was beautiful if I say myself , but at that time I didn't think so"She said showing 2 pages full of herself as a girl

I looked over ur pictures seeing a beautiful girl with a bit of tummy on her but not much just enough to not be bone skinny

"Mom you were gorgeous " I said

"Thanks sweetie .. I didn't think so" She said seriously

She then flipped the page and again there were photos of her holidays of news years to Christmas

"You were short mom"I said with a giggle and she joined in

She flipped the page and all of a sudden nothing was funny we stopped laughing as mom started telling her story

"I was 5.2 at age 14 and I was only 84 pounds I had lo- lost it" She said as she started to cry

She quickly wiped her tears and continued telling her story

"I hadn't ate that year unless I was puking blood and it had happened before the most I ate that year was a sandwich with only a scratch if peanut butter I was di-disgusting in my opinion all I could do was starve myself it worked though I had managed to ruin my life in 2 tiny skinny years.The kids would be so confused and a few would even laugh at my skinny body but I still kept going all because the boy I liked called me fat.He hated me but I loved him and I didn't have anyone to me with it only my mom she di-died that year from abuse an heart attack,My life su-sucked " She said as she cried and stared at those pictures of her frail boned body

"Mom"I managed to choke out before breaking down and crying my eyes out into her shoulder

"How did you stop"I said as we broke apart and started talking again

"My bestfriend Amelia, I met her before 9th grade she saved my life a few times, I was so dramatic!"She laughed a little

"I managed to get through it but only because of her. All the way up until my pregnancy that's when I met your father and I had pushed Amelia away and started starving myself again even when I w-was pre-pregnant " She said and shredded a tear

"Baby I'm so sorry it's all my fau-"

"No mom it isn't it's that disgusting mans fault he ruined my life what were you sposed to do just sit there and let yourself and I get raped and abused? No you changed all of that in the simple change of a day when you left I though you left because you were ashamed of me and hated your life but you came back but only because your an amazing mom"I said

"I should've tooken you with me"She said

"No I'm glad you didn't then it would have been harder on both of us!"I said making my point

At that moment I heard my name from the living room making us follow the noise

"Oh my god"My mom said as she dropped her scrapbook from hell

There my picture was on the tv screen right before Kellin and the rest of the boys walked on stage for the interview

We sat down as we watched

"So Kellin what's going on with Jasmin?" Patricia asked.. gosh did I hate that bitch!

"I don't know I just want her to be happy " He said

"So are you guys over?" She said giving him a wink

He then gave a fake laugh and continued

"No we're not we were never together as far as were both concerned all there is in this relationship is love true love but we never accomplished it"He said confused

"So then why are you upset about the kiss?"Patricia asked

"Because she deserves something better than that piece of poo" He said

"How so"

"She is so perfect and Vic goes from girl to girl in a week and she dosent need that in her life." He said

"So what about the anorexia thing?" She asked

"I don't wanna tell the whole world about anything they don't already know but all I can say is how perfect she is "Kellin said

"We love her"Gabe added in

"Truly " Justin said

"I wish she would understand that" Jesse said

"She is such a perfect girl" Jack completed

"Looks like you guys really love her huh?" Patricia said

"Yup" They said

Patricia then changed the subject to there new album

After that my mom had gave me a long message of how she cares and how much the band cares about me then I had to leave so that I could suprise boys

"I love you so much mom "I said as we said our goodbyes

"I love you more" she said and gave me a kiss

I then got into my car and drive as fast as possible to beat the boys back

I walked into the bus and set down that scrapbook in my bunk and waited for the boys but I decided to take a walk

I started walking toward the shopping tents and then of course Vic pops around the corner

I quickly turned around before he could notice meet but he saw me

"Wait Jasmin let me explain "He said

"No I don't want to due to the fact that you ruined me and Kellin !" I said and kept walking

I slammed the bus door in his face before he could say anything

I sat down and kept waiting

About 10 minutes later the boys all walked in

"Oh hey Jaz a few of them said but Kelli ignored me and walked to his bunk I followed and tried to explain

"Kellin just listen!" I said as he was I his phone

There was only one way to get his attention

I dug to the bottom of my bag and found it, my blade

"Kellin I can't do this alone please just help me"I said as he kept ignoring me as he didn't even know what was in my hand

"I've been wanting to do this for a long time and your the only one who has kept me from it so now that I don't have you"I said and took a slice against my arm and right at that moment he looked and suddenly I was getting woozy

I lost all balence and fell I his arms as he screamed my name

"Jasmin! " He said and picked me up and cradled me

I started to black out but then all the boys rushed in and everything went black

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Sorry I haven't been updating lately but I have so many ideas for the book and thanks again for all the reads but I just read all the comments and I'm glad you guys like it I'll be updating tomorrow

Btw my birthday is in 6 days 🎄 yes Christmas ! So excited Merry Christmas