"Because sometimes, all we wish is to be someone else..."
For 17-year-old Felicia Portman, being like Jackie Johnson was the most amazing thing she could dream about...
Jackie is perfect- Good looks, good brains and a too-good-to-be-true boyfriend...
"Oh hey! I was wondering when you'd come back", Jasper said in a cool tone, as if everything was normal between the two of us.
He was as calm as a cat in fact!
"H- H-Hey", I faltered. I simply didn't know what in the world was going on.
"Honey. . . You shouldn't go out that much I think. You aren't completely fine and your leg needs rest more often you know...", Maggie expressed her concern.
"I- I'm good really" I assured her. I was still confused as heck.
Jasper got up from where he was sitting and made his way towards me, giving that endearing smile which still made butterflies play rugby in my stomach. He had put on light grey tee paired with lose, black colored chinos. He seemed to be coming right back from the gym or something 'cause his hair looked all sticky and sweaty. But that didn't make him look less attractive though.
I was thus admiring his physique when suddenly his voice disrupted my thoughts.
"I need to urmm... copy your history notes" he said in a nervous tone.
I raised one eyebrow at him. Did he really think I believed him?
He scrunched his nose like a kid and looked down at his feet. "Don't look at me like that at least..." he mumbled softly so only I could hear him.
I took a deep breath and sad with a hint of seriousness in my voice, "Okay then... Let's go upstairs to my room"
We headed upstairs to Jackie's room- Jasper coming just after me. We were silent as death. At least, I couldn't find any topic to start any conversation.
Once we reached the room, he slammed the door behind him. I just simply went for the settee and sat on it. He did just the same and sat beside me.
Before I could even turn to face him, he spoke up.
"I'm sorry" He said. I was surprised at how guilty he sounded. Was he really feeling guilty or was this just for show?
I didn't want to sound too desperate for him. That would be embarrassing. So I said tonelessly, "You should be"
At this he immediately looked up and our eyes met. "I never meant to hurt you, trust me. I- I- I was just angry and it wasn't until today that I realized how wrong I was to treat you like this... " he explained with honesty and regret clear in his tone.
So he really was guilty. Hmm.
"I know I messed up at the competition but I didn't do it on purpose" I said with decency. I simply didn't know how to react because it had been so long since we talked that I'd almost forgotten it. I'd thought that he would give some break-up or something. Yes, I admit I was really very sad at first but somehow that pain disappeared while he was away.
Was this because I found some space to be with people I really wanted to be with? I didn't know.
"Yes, yes I know" he murmured subconsciously, looking down again.
"I would always type a text, feel guilty and clear it again I just couldn't imagine what you were going through and-and if you would forgive me..." he continued. "Anger made me blind and senseless and then I was just left feeling remorseful"
I put my hand on his shoulder awkwardly.
"I forgive you Jesse" I said. And I really meant it. I didn't know if I'd forgiven him or I just didn't care, but I knew I'd done the right thing. I mean, you're peaceful only when you forgive and forget right?
He stared at me in utmost astonishment. He didn't say anything for sometime. His pupils moved left and right briskly and so did mine because I was looking at his hazel eyes from up so close...
... And that's when I realized how close our faces were. Oh my freaking god, it was SO awkward for me. It looked like we were about to kiss or something! I immediately pulled back.
"I really forgive you and I'm sorry on my part too" I said, with a little more feeling this time. "You can come out of that regret shell'" I finger- quoted the last two words and we both laughed at this.
"Thanks for being you Jackie" he said.
Oh I wish I was me Jasper, I wish...
With this he got up from the settee along with me. We hugged and then got ready to leave.
Reaching the door, he turned around and said, "I love you"
And I froze. I mean like seriously, I froze. I couldn't say anything- I was just empty. I just stood there and stared at his face blankly.
He looked at me as if he expected me to reply. But when I didn't say anything he just smiled and added, "Good night gorgeous"
The door closed gently and I heard footsteps down the staircase slowly fading away.
After that I changed into my night dress and flopped onto the extra-soft bed with just one thing in my head:
Why couldn't I say 'I love you too'?
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A/N
. . . And there goes another chapter :) I wonderrr what's up with the two of 'em. . . Did you like it? Ohmygawd I sure hope you did!:P Do tell me if it was good or good. . . haha lol! Jk,jk... You can tell me if it's bad too!;);)
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