Finding Lily

19- Alex

Both bodies were in the cave, thrown on top of each other, bloody and heavy. I attempted to use my right arm to help drag them but Luke scolded me, insisting that I shouldn't injure it further. So basically, he moved the bodies alone.

I was surprised he didn't puke. For someone who was so against killing, he seemed to have no trouble dealing with corpses. Maybe he was a homicide detective before.

While Luke was dealing with that, I went to work on the bloody soil, kicking it around with my feet in an effort to mix it all. It would be obvious to whoever stumbled upon the disturbed ground that something happened here, but it would take some investigating to find out what.

"When did it start?" Luke was dirty now. Blood had stained his jeans and white t-shirt while streaks of dirt from the brawl had mixed in as well. His hair was looking more unkempt that usual too, the short brown mess sticking up in random directions. His scruff was more full, messy. And he was sweaty.

Was it weird that it was turning me on?

"When did what start?" I asked. I was so distracted that I had barely heard the question.

"The killing."

Oh.

"I read your file. You used to be different." Luke was standing in front of me, rubbing his hands on his jeans.

"You mean before my mom died? Before my dad abandoned me? Or before Felix almost beat me to death and killed my step-sister?"

He flinched, so I continued.

"You don't really expect someone to go through all of that and not change, do you?"

"No, I just-"

"I do what needs to be done. It's not my fault you don't have the stomach for it."

Luke pursed his lips. He glanced down for a moment before looking straight into my glare. "You killed him so I wouldn't." He stated.

"So?"

"I wasn't going to. I knew how close he was. Still, you stepped in. Why? To protect me?" Luke took a step closer to me. I took one back, too intimidated by the expression on his face.

"No."

"You didn't want me to be a killer. Cause deep down, you don't want to be either. You think it's too late for you to be good but not for me."

My back was against a tree. He was just a foot in front of me, looking down into my eyes, reminding me of how much bigger he was. He was a broad shouldered, six and a half foot man who had disarmed me before he even touched me.

"Shut up." That was all I could manage.

"Fool yourself all you want. You're not a bad person, Lily."

There was too much pride in his expression, like he'd figured me out. He was wrong, though. If he knew what I'd done, what I'd become, he'd know how wrong he was.

A good person didn't kill people. A good person didn't slit their throats without a second thought, not even cringing as their body hit the ground.

Before I could remind Luke of this, or hurt him, he moved away. Leaving me against the tree, watching him as he packed up the bag. He strapped it onto his back and waited for a minute before turning to me.

"Coming?" He asked.

I blinked. There was still a lot going on in my head. Memories that had come back to the surface from the past year, reminding me of the pain I'd caused.

Taking a deep breath, I wiped it all clean. "Let's go."

******

We walked around the base of the mountain, hugging the trees, walking on the balls of our toes. It took us longer than normal to reach the northern coast thanks to our stealth. With the ocean in front of us and the mountain to our left, we each picked a tree.